New BoyFriend

[LonelyChica]

Originally posted by Paranoid@Dec 29 2002, 07:25 AM

Okay I'm sorry, this is probably the only time i'm gonna have to say something like this.. Cause it really bothers me that I have to.



Either your extremely stupid,

or

Your the biggest Bullshitter I seen since Clinton

LoL!!! (woot!)





okay really, you're 17 and he doesn't care if he looses his job, but he asked you to marry him. MEANING HE HAS NO JOB, OTHER WORDS NO MONEY TO SUPPORT YOU, HIM, AND LIL KATE!



wake up and smell the coffee darling, you and that teacher can wait a few more months tell you're 18. its not going to kill ya

[daloverlyme]

hes willing to get another job to help me raise kate. i told him i dont think i can marrie him and that made him feel hurt evidently. i havent seen him for a little while, im afraid he doesnt want anything to do with me, there goes another daddy for kate. i admit im stupid for dating him, it probaby wont last much longer. hes starting to get controlling, and isnt as nice as he use to be to kate. he got a little mean with her before and i almost called our relationship quits than but everyone has some meaness.

[Ciara]

i wouldnt even want to date a guy in their 30's personally...and i'm almost 19...whenever they hit on me i find it completely disgusting....good luck tho if thats what you really want

[daloverlyme]

what about theses kids today? he wasnt out looking for a high schooler, i was staying after school to get help with something i didnt understand in his class and one thing lead to another. No actully i havent seen any movies where teachers date to use there students, what happens?. yes hes in his 30s but looks younger, not that that matters but. i talked to him about being controlling and he said he wouldnt be anymore.

[unoshawty]

HELLO??!! Anyone home in your messed up brain there?? You're obviously dumb as hell. "Oh yes, I just went out with him, and I'm going to marry him and he's going to take care of my 5 year old daughter and we're going to live happily ever after." How dumb can one person BE? People like you annoy the hell out of me. THINK before you ACT, hun.

[DreamPixie]

sissy, i know you love kate, but just because he *said* he's not going to be controlling anymore, doesn't mean it's going to work that way. if i were you i'd get out now. it seems like you really want to find kate a dad, but that will come, ok? what if he does turn out to be mean, and he's not good to her or you? and yes, especially now that you've admitted you guys are having a sexual relationship [duh], it is illegal, not only is it statuatory rape, but it's illegal and completely unethical *because he's your teacher.* moving in with him just doesn't sound like the brightest idea. and any relationship you have to hide from everyone you know sounds like a bad idea to begin with. i wish you the best of luck tho, and i hope you don't get hurt. <3

[She]

I agree with Sea...

And it isn't perfect, you're having your doubts. That's bad, if you think he might be getting controlling. Go with your gut instincts. If you think he might be getting controlling, he's probably getting controlling. And that means he's trying to take advantage of you and of Kate, if he loved you and respected you as much as he says he does he wouldn't dare do a thing to your daughter. You've in the past said you didn't like sex, you weren't going to give him sex so he can't be taking advantage of you... you're having sex! You're lying down your morals and ethics for this guy AND letting him take advantage of you. I know you want to find someone to be with you and Kate but you need to find someone you can trust. Of course he's going to tell you he's in love with you, and that he'd do everything for you, but how can you know as long as you're doing what he wants all the time? Sure, he may be a great guy who just coincidentally is your teacher, is sometimes controlling, and pressures you into having sex, but are you willing to take that risk?

[daloverlyme]

*in tears*. late last night he came over which made my friends parents mad. He wass angry because he thought i was fooling around on him, because i didnt come over last night to see him. i was busy helping some suicidal pms to me from here which i rather do instead. He got violent with me. now i have a bruize thats bad looking on my cheek and hand marks on my arms from where he grabed me. He quikly was tooken and shoved out the door by my friends mom jill. We all sat down and decided its best if i dont see a viloent person like that anymore. im not going to date him anymore. while he was shaking me kate woke up and walked out and seen him, i glanced her way and seen her look of terror on her little face. Its over and hes not happy. I think im going to go to a school for teen moms now. I dont think i can go to a school with a teacher i dated and who hurt me and scared my baby girl so bad. you were all right, it was a very bad bad bad bad idea. i seen my dad hit my mom many times when i was kates age and that left emotional pain in my heart and soul for ever. Ty Ty Ty Ty all for helping me relize this also. Now the next step it trying to keep away from him, which will be hard cause he keeps calling and saying he loves me and kate. My friend and her parents took kate out for lunch and stuff so i can think for a little bit and cry w/out kate thinking shes causing me to cry.

[daloverlyme]

everyone would hate me if i got him in trouble, its hard enough having friends that dont have kids as it is. if i got him in trouble i would have No One anymore.

[Cindy]

You really should go to the school board and the cops... If he can get you like he did, what stops him from getting another girl? nothing.. that guy needs the hell beaten out of him.. please report him, get a restraining order on him... and don't be surpriced if he dosen't try holding your grades over your head as a way to get you back or to get you not to report him....

[daloverlyme]

i promiced myself i would never put myself in this situation but i did, im soooooooo scared now, i can barly write im shaking so bad but im on the computer writing so i dont go hurt myself or lose it.

[DreamPixie]

i never cry reading posts, but i'm on the verge of tears here. i'm just sorry this guy blinded you and you couldn't see that your friends here might know what they were talking about. luckily you didn't move in with him before all this happened. i'm so sorry he hurt you and especially that kate had to see it. i also saw a lot of hitting and such going on in my house, and it is *incredibly* scary being a lil' kid and seeing someone control your mom that way. you HAVE to tell someone! i know you said you won't have anyone after that, but think of the other girls who he could do thsi too, and think of how it felt when he hit you and that you don't want that to happen to anyone else. if some bitches at school can't see your side and don't want him locked up, they don't deserve your friendship. and if you don't tell someone, and he makes it so bad that you need to go to the other school, that might be better anyway, but if he harrasses you over this or gets violent/clingy/scary, you HAVE to do something for your safety and for kate's. if you do tell someone, and other ppl harrass you about it at school, your school might have harrassment policies like someone else was saying their school did, where if anyone even comes close to bullying you they get in serious trouble. this guy's a major jerk, and he took advantage of you, and you can't let him get away with that, b/c then he wins, and losers shouldn't be allowed to win over you. good luck with whatever you decide to do. <3

[daloverlyme]

he called again and said he wanted to talk to kate, but i refuse to let him, plus kates now here. im the rape furum ive been putting up a lot of pin posts, ill probably get in trouble cause i put so many up but i need to get abuse messages of every kind out and plus im trying to keep occupied.

[She]

Please tell SOMEONE! He did it to you, he's probably done it to other girls and he probably WILL do it to more other girls! You can't let him get away with it because he's cute and you think your friends will hate them. Tell the cops, tell your friends, get your friends' parents to back you (they saw him grab you, right?) You have the marks to show it, NOBODY can treat you like that and get away with it. Tell the cops or call an abuse hotline. Seriously. You can do it anonymously I'm sure (even if they do have to track you down eventually, if they get an anonymous tip then there's no telling it was from you). This guy deserves everything he gets to make sure he doesn't do it again. And don't let him control your life by making you switch schools.



I was pretty worried for a while there. Good luck, I'm sorry this happened but I'm glad you got out of it when you did and I'm glad he didn't get the chance to hurt you any more than he did. Don't listen to whatever he says.



*snugs* And there's always plenty of people around if you need to talk, hey?

[daloverlyme]

he wants to work it all out, i really do miss him and feel i caused him to get angry.

[DreamPixie]

sissy, no, him being angry was not your fault. hun, that's how abusive relationships start, and you know that. i think you really need to take your knowledge and use it to your own advantage in this case, b/c we really don't wanna see you get hurt anymore. [or for kate to be put in a bad situation, and we know you don't want that either.] i'm sure you do miss him, and he claims to love you, but abuse this early in a relationship [or at any point] is like a big stop sign, so read the signs and know that you're putting yourself at more risk. please be careful.

[She]

Please do NOT fall back into that! He hurt you! He hurt Kate! Even if not physically, you said it yourself how you remembered how your father used to beat your mother and you used to watch, scared... You can't do this to yourself, or to Kate, you have so much to live for outside of this man. If he loved you he'd understand this is a rough subject for you and NOT PRESSURE YOU OR MAKE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE. You don't deserve this from him, or from anyone for that matter. You are allowed to do exactly as you feel right and if that means no sex, he should be able to deal with it if he loves you. No should mean No and you cannot cannot CANNOT blame yourself for pissing him off! Do NOT blame yourself, even if you end up with him, just don't let him control you by getting you to think it's your fault when he's upset so you deserve it. That is NOT true!

Please, I'm begging you, don't listen to this guy. He hurt you, he physically hurt you. He could hurt Kate. I know you feel you love him but just because you feel that way doesn't mean you should allow him to take advantage of you. You haven't been together a month and he's already making you have sex with him and controlling you and you KNOW it isn't right... please, please just try to stay away, tell someone... he's manipulative and you cannot let him through. There will be other guys, guys who won't try to hurt you or Kate in any way and guys who will respect you. You just cannot let this guy control you! Please..



EDIT: I'm sorry for the outburst, I have no right to judge or anything. See post below. I'm sorry.

[Barbies are Evil]

Originally posted by daloverlyme@Dec 20 2002, 02:39 PM

what would he be using me for???? nothing, thats what. After cristmas Break if i can il be moving in with him. So people will probably find out soon about us and it doesnt bother either of us. He respects me for me and he absolutly loves kids so im not worried about that one bit. i dont see why he would get fired from his anways because of us.

Sissy, watch yourself and be careful.

[Barbies are Evil]

[Barbies are Evil]

Originally posted by daloverlyme@Dec 30 2002, 01:29 PM

everyone would hate me if i got him in trouble, its hard enough having friends that dont have kids as it is. if i got him in trouble i would have No One anymore.

You'd have yourself and us here, please make the call to the cops.