i feel so guilty :(

Have a major crush on that special girl but she doesn't like you in the least? Are you in love with a guy who doesn't even notice you? Whatever it might be, ask here. We'll give you some advice.

Moderator: Sex & Relationships Moderators

Post Reply
User avatar
motoman
Loyal
Posts: 610
Joined: Sun Dec 15, 2002 6:45 am
Contact:

i feel so guilty :(

Post by motoman » Fri Jan 10, 2003 8:24 am

i'm going out with this girl right now, i really liked her, always have. we went out about 4 weeks before now but broke up.. well before when we were going out there was this party that i was invited to... and at this party i kissed another girl, it was her birth day, everyone was watching.. i couldnt just back away! so i let her kiss me. so we break up (the one i'm going out with now) (not because of me kissin her) and now we are going out again. everything is GREAT and we're both happy, but today the girl that kissed me told her what happend! she told her early on in the day and my girl didnt say anything about it or act differently around me at all... but when i got home and called her she asked me about it. i feel sooooo bad because she is such a nice girl and she doesnt deserve that, and i dont deserve her. she told me she didnt care anymore because it was awhile ago and it was old news. but for some reason i find it hard to believe that she has no resentment towards me... i know i do.



my quetion here is how can i tell if she's really okay and it doesnt matter anymore? and how can i make this up to her.. even if she isnt mad or sad or anything i still want to make it up to her.

User avatar
She
Veteran
Posts: 1628
Joined: Sun Dec 15, 2002 8:47 pm
Contact:

Re: i feel so guilty :(

Post by She » Fri Jan 10, 2003 4:07 pm

Take her word for it, if she says she's okay then either she's okay or she wants to handle it herself. And chances are it's the former since most people usually don't have any reservations about bitching out people that've hurt them severely. Just apologize and don't press it too much. Flowers make everything better! And maybe see about that kiss? ;)



Good luck!
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."

--Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

User avatar
motoman
Loyal
Posts: 610
Joined: Sun Dec 15, 2002 6:45 am
Contact:

Re: i feel so guilty :(

Post by motoman » Sat Jan 11, 2003 6:46 pm

well i was talking to her lastnight - 11pm-5:21am. well during the conversation she told me she had done something while she was in florda for cheer competitions that she regrets... she flashed some random ass guy. so on top of my own guilt i have this to deal with.. i'm not really mad anymore cause i did kiss some other girl... but i didnt slap her in the face with my fucking cock or anything! i think we're closer now that we both know about our little secrets.. cause you could tell that something was bothering her and i. eh, i still feel like shit tho.

User avatar
She
Veteran
Posts: 1628
Joined: Sun Dec 15, 2002 8:47 pm
Contact:

Re: i feel so guilty :(

Post by She » Sat Jan 11, 2003 11:57 pm

Aww, don't worry about it. *snugs* Just agree to put it behind you. Everyone has those type of problems. Well maybe not those in particular but you know what I mean ;) And hey, now you don't have to fork out twenty bucks for flowers, look on the bright side!
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."

--Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

User avatar
Sosa
Loyal
Posts: 311
Joined: Tue Dec 17, 2002 3:47 pm
Contact:

Re: i feel so guilty :(

Post by Sosa » Sun Jan 12, 2003 2:49 pm

ok first off i skipped everyone elses posts because im a very impatient person.ok so anyway she may just be trying to blow it off and forget about it or she did something with someone else or she is mad at you and doesn't want to say nothin or she is like myself and doesn't care about relationships and such.or maybe its somethin else.oh yeah and sry if those sounded assholeish, im pretty burt from the past two days.oh or you and her could have a nice chat and talk about it and ask her why she just blew it off like that and did it so easily and without and resentment.have fun.

User avatar
HumanNature
Hooked On HelpingTeens
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Dec 15, 2002 4:41 pm
Contact:

Re: i feel so guilty :(

Post by HumanNature » Sun Jan 12, 2003 3:49 pm

Don't make a big deal about it...

if you always bring it up, then it's going to really bother her... she may start to wonder why you're always thinking about how you kissed this other girl and it may seem like you're dweling on it.... just let it slide... you've talked to her about it already and she's said what she had to say....



as for her flashing another guy.... i wouldn't make a big deal about it either.... i don't think it's that respectful of her to do that.... but there wasn't any involvment with her and this other guy at all.... she was probably just with some friends and goofing around.... maybe someone dared her to do it... and she felt pressured to do so, just like you had at the party.....



don't bring either issue up in the future (especially during a fight) don't use these situations as weapons against each other....



Another Thing-

Why would this girl tell your girlfriend that you had kissed each other??? maybe there's another reason for her doing this?

-does she like you?

-is she trying to break you and your gf up?

-is she friends w/ your gf and feel it's her "job" to tell her?



i don't really think it was her place to tell your gf what happend.... but i don't know the situation..... just be careful and let your girlfriend really know (and feel) that she can trust you now......

User avatar
PurplePoemPuppet
Veteran
Posts: 2468
Joined: Fri Dec 27, 2002 2:46 pm
Contact:

Re: i feel so guilty :(

Post by PurplePoemPuppet » Sun Jan 12, 2003 4:06 pm

Now she flashed this guy while you two were together? Oh you two get over it. Feel relieved you two got it off your chests (seriously no pun intended). You said you two feel closer but you still feel that guilt there. Stop it! This should be good for you. It'll bring you two closer and eventually you'll be talking about things you'd never would have thought you'd tell anybody. That'll bring you two even closer and your relationship will be better because of it. Stop worrying so much. And if you just can't help it, talk to her and tell her how your feeling... hopefully she'll comfort you and tell you to stop worrying so much. You'll go out of your mind for something so small. Wait for the bigger issues to come up.
Email: SMyers017@gmail.com

AIM: PurplePoemPuppet

User avatar
motoman
Loyal
Posts: 610
Joined: Sun Dec 15, 2002 6:45 am
Contact:

Re: i feel so guilty :(

Post by motoman » Sun Jan 12, 2003 10:24 pm

I know that it?s good that we have it off our chests and all but I feel like our future is? ruined? Well not really ruined but it kind of messed things up. Now the sexual things that we do wont feel so special and it won?t feel like she loves me? ya know? It feels like she is impure now, I know it sounds dumb. About 3-4 months ago at a dance (we weren?t going out at this time) one of her guy friends tried to finger her.. he didn?t get very far but he still tried to. For some reason I make myself think that she wanted it, I know she didn?t. when I think that she wonted it, it makes me think lower of her, like she would put out for some guy that she doesn?t even like. Crazy, I know that, but its just the way I think. I KNOW that she didn?t want him to do that, and I KNOW that she stopped him before he got down her pants, but my twisted mind morphs things? now that I hear that she flashed some random mother fucking person it makes me think that she indeed let that other guy finder her, even though she didn?t.



I?m just having trouble getting past all this. She?s special to me and I would never let something like this get between us, so I?m just going to keep my mouth shut. But I just feel like everything we do sexually will be ruined because it wont be special? cause she did sexual things with a random buy L. I know I should just get past this? and I will, I just feel used. Guess I know how she must have felt when she found out I kissed some other girl.



I don?t know why the girl told her that I kissed her? but I hate her for it. In a way it could be a good thing but she didn?t help any right now. I don?t think she likes me, even if she did I wouldn?t go out with her. My girl I have right now is too special for me to just let go like that. Plus, the girl that told her I kissed her is a dirty s**t.



Now I have a question here? the guy that tried to finger my girlfriend did it without permission? she didn?t let him do it willingly. Is that a form of rape??? Could he get in trouble for that?



Ehg? sorry if you couldn?t understand anything I wrote down? I?m just confused and I need to get my thoughts straightened out.

User avatar
sexyheather
Veteran
Posts: 1141
Joined: Mon Dec 16, 2002 8:54 pm
Contact:

Re: i feel so guilty :(

Post by sexyheather » Sun Jan 12, 2003 11:00 pm

that was a bad messup but you seemed to have learned your lesson. unless you feel tempted to keep doing it, then try to move on. we all make mistakes, it sucks, but we have to move on. if you feel like u just can't get it out of your head and want to completely start anew then i would say end it with her and start over with someone else.
The quote that saved my life, "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Post Reply