The God File.

"When I see black and white photographs in one of the books from the prison library, I am struck by the clarity and depth that we don't see in a color photograph. I think that this must be the reason why most animals are color blind. They must capture movement exactly. They cannot afford any less. A dulling of the edges, a touch away from precision, and their lives are lost."

"Like Eddie Mueller, animals are spared the gift of suicide. They can't see color, and they don't kill themselves. We are allowed to see deep blue skies, blood-red roses, and baseball fields of green. But all around the world, from one end to the other, thousands die every day. We slit our wrists, stick guns in our mouths, jump off bridges, and put ourselves to sleep with golden little pills. They say only a coward commits suicide. That's not fair. It's to simple. Only a person without the courage to consider the other possibilities would try to make it so simple. I am not afraid to hide."

"I am given the choice to kill myself. I have preserved the idea of suicide as one of my only freedoms, but I cannot do it. Why not? It is this choice against a clear, protected option, every single day, which is the proof of the existence of God."

"I don't kill myself because somewhere in my mind I know that the next moment is a gift. The next emotion will hold some joy, even in it's disgusting sadness...."