Something I Wrote While Resisting The Urge *may Be Triggering*

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ftfomwairdiuyps
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Something I Wrote While Resisting The Urge *may Be Triggering*

Post by ftfomwairdiuyps » Mon Feb 13, 2006 5:59 am

Amongst the Depression, anger, and countless thoughts, a strange sensation rushes through my head.

Not quite pain, not quite sadness or anger, it is a strange feeling indeed.

I can feel it intensify.

I have a cigarette which seems to calm it slightly. I want another, but I decide not to (I only have one left).

It seems somewhat familiar, as though I've felt it before... but when?

What is this strange feeling in my brain?

I know I've felt it before, but I can not recall exactly what it is.

I start to suspect what this feeling is, and I think i know what can make it go away.

Yes, now i remember. It's the urge to do something i shouldn't.

i know i shouldnt but i want to.

If i do, then this horrible feeling would go away.

It would feel so good, so relaxing... No, i really shouldn't.

Just once, maybe twice. No. Don't do it, James. It's not worth it.



... i will try keep myself away from walls until this feeling is gone. i think i'll just go lay down . . .





(I wrote this as I started to feel the urge to wallbash. A feeling I have not felt in quite some time.)

:wallbash: <-- In case it isnt obvious by the name, this is basically what i mean by wallbashing.
Good friends are hard to find, even harder to leave, and impossible to forget...



"I want to let go of this pain I've felt so long...

Erase all the pain 'till it's gone"

- Linkin Park, Somewhere I Belong



The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...

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Lena
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Re: Something I Wrote While Resisting The Urge *may Be Triggering*

Post by Lena » Mon Feb 13, 2006 9:08 am

Moving to Self Expression forum, at users request. Lena.
Woman can not live on tea or chocolate alone.... but she can give it a damn good try.

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NeverReallySeen
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Re: Something I Wrote While Resisting The Urge *may Be Triggering*

Post by NeverReallySeen » Mon Feb 13, 2006 5:36 pm

Thats very powerful, and it shows the pain you're going through. Its good though how you knew its wrong and how you knew that doing it wouldnt be right.



Writing is good when you have the urge to SI.
To be nobody but yourself in a world thats doing its best to make you somebody

else is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.



You do anything long enough to escape the habit of living,

Until the escape becomes the habit.



Everything is ok in the end.

If its not, then its not the end.

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