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You Weren't There

Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:27 pm
by RandomSpunk
Yeah, it's a little rough and not so good.. I just had to write it to get it out of my head..





"You Weren't There"







You notice the blood red lines

Twisting up and down her arms

It makes you want to cry and scream

How could she do this harm?



Automatically you are enraged

Ignoring her attempts to explain

You call her a fake and a hypocrite

Not bothering to understand her pain



You try to make sense of this

Asking why and claiming that you care

Her answer shatters your heart

"Simple: Because you weren't there"









I wrote this when I thought about how my best friend freaked out on me. She called me a hypocrite and other things and judged. I knew why I did it, but my answer wasn't good enough. I basically lost it and told her she wasn't there for me when I needed her the most. I don't try to do it anymore and now she understands and helps me with it.

Re: You Weren't There

Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 1:42 pm
by Barbies are Evil
wow, that poem is raw, and you have real talent :)

Re: You Weren't There

Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 5:25 pm
by Trickmatic
I think it's a great piece, which many people can relate to. I like how the first stanza already creates imagery to the reader, lasting to the second and third.

Re: You Weren't There

Posted: Sat Dec 06, 2008 1:04 am
by Sam!
Certainly powerful imagery!

Re: You Weren't There

Posted: Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:47 am
by njh88_07
I think this is a really good poem. I recently found my dad and he has contacted me back but all my life I spent wandering working my emotions towards the fact that I thought he didn't want anything to do with me. My sadness among other things from not knowing him and what really happened in my life would make me SI. I wanted to get rid of everything. But now if he ever asks I feel that is what I should say to him is that he wasn't there. This really hits home for me you did a wonderful job. Keep it up you definately have a talent.

Re: You Weren't There

Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 4:55 pm
by DarkSoul
[quote=RandomSpunk;496776]Yeah, it's a little rough and not so good.. I just had to write it to get it out of my head..





"You Weren't There"







You notice the blood red lines

Twisting up and down her arms

It makes you want to cry and scream

How could she do this harm?



Automatically you are enraged

Ignoring her attempts to explain

You call her a fake and a hypocrite

Not bothering to understand her pain



You try to make sense of this

Asking why and claiming that you care

Her answer shatters your heart

"Simple: Because you weren't there"









I wrote this when I thought about how my best friend freaked out on me. She called me a hypocrite and other things and judged. I knew why I did it, but my answer wasn't good enough. I basically lost it and told her she wasn't there for me when I needed her the most. I don't try to do it anymore and now she understands and helps me with it.[/quote]



that is exactly what happened to me! Except for she still doesn't know I cut myself. I don't trust her enough now to tell her that.