How Can I Tell Them

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kellykelly
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How Can I Tell Them

Post by kellykelly » Sat Feb 05, 2005 4:07 pm

i've been atheist for about two years now, and in the past couple months i've started to tell people, like my friends. i want to tell my sister because she heads the youth group at the church i'm forced to attend and she is constantly bugging me to go to youth retreats and come to youth group. but at the same time i don't want them to know because my mom stopped talking to my cousin when she found out she didn't believe in god and i don't want to loose my family, but i don't want to lie to them anymore and i don't wanna be pressured to go to church... so any ideas on what i should do? tell them and deal with what happens or just keep quiet and keep making lies to avoid stuff?

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Doug
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Re: How Can I Tell Them

Post by Doug » Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:04 pm

Ha, it sounds like most of the problems we deal with in the sexuality forum when people are sick of hiding their sexuality.



Anyway, do you trust your sister? Do you trust that she won't tell your mother if you tell her? If you do, then go ahead and tell your sister. She probably won't like it, but she'll (hopefully) recognize that these are your beliefs.





In regards to your mother, that's really sad that she won't talk to your cousin. And, when she does find out you're atheist (you're going to tell her eventually, right?), she may do the same for a bit. But, there's a big difference between your daughter and your nephew/niece. She'll get over it and, though she doesn't like or agree with your beliefs, she'll at least tolerate them.



Good luck.

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kellykelly
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Re: How Can I Tell Them

Post by kellykelly » Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:10 pm

no, i'm afraid she'll want me to come to church even more, and the more and more i get forced to church the less and less i believe.

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Re: How Can I Tell Them

Post by Kit » Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:26 pm

Unfortunately, with a parent like that, she'll (99.99999%) be angry..Just explain to your sister - or mother - that you have your own beliefs that doesn't consist of being around a church all day, 7 days a week. It's not lying but it isn't telling the truth either.
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Re: How Can I Tell Them

Post by FiZzBaW » Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:26 pm

Friend,



Honestly I wouldn't tell anyone that you are athiest until you are completely sure you are. from your post it seems to me that you are either being rebelious or you are at the point in your life that we all get to where we want to think and learn on or own.



I do not suggest that you jump into lableing yourself as Athiest or anything, I believe you should just chill with whats going on until you are out of your parent's home and then you can step back and examine your faith for yourself and then decide what you do and don't believe in.



and just because you don't want to goto church does not make you an athiest....



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kellykelly
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Re: How Can I Tell Them

Post by kellykelly » Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:51 pm

lol. it's not that i don't want to go to church. i just really don't believe there's anything after this. i've been thinking about all this for a very long time. probably since my grandfather died when i was 11. it's not that i'm not sure about myself, it's i'm not sure how to tell my mom or anyone.

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Re: How Can I Tell Them

Post by jess_617 » Sat Feb 05, 2005 8:03 pm

Its sad that your mum is like that. People should be more accepting about other peoples beliefs. Its really no ones business but yours. If you really really cant tolerate going to church Id say tell your sis. And think about telling your mum too. She may be angry at first but she will get over it. Youre her daughter and she loves you, the least she can do is tolerate your beliefs. Good luck dear.
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Re: How Can I Tell Them

Post by outplaced88 » Sat Feb 05, 2005 8:08 pm

Originally posted by kellykelly@Feb 5 2005, 03:07 PM

i've been atheist for about two years now, and in the past couple months i've started to tell people, like my friends. i want to tell my sister because she heads the youth group at the church i'm forced to attend and she is constantly bugging me to go to youth retreats and come to youth group. but at the same time i don't want them to know because my mom stopped talking to my cousin when she found out she didn't believe in god and i don't want to loose my family, but i don't want to lie to them anymore and i don't wanna be pressured to go to church... so any ideas on what i should do? tell them and deal with what happens or just keep quiet and keep making lies to avoid stuff?

[right][/right]



Ok this might sound really dense on my part but what exactly is atheist. (I'm completely uniformed on religious matters) and why would anyone be upset with you because you are atheist?



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Dobby
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Re: How Can I Tell Them

Post by Dobby » Sat Feb 05, 2005 9:30 pm

First of all, to answer Nicole's question in lamen's terms, an atheist is basically just a person who does not believe in a heigher being, (God(s) or Goddes(es)). Also, for an added bonus, they usually believe in the theory of evolution, and that there is no life after death. If you want a real run down on Atheism, ask Jeff sometime, or maybe you'll be luckey enough, that he'll just tell you everything. :D right Jeff!



Anyways, Kelly, I believe that we've all been down that road at one time or another, but in your case you have walked a little father out on the branch than some of us. But you know what, everyone needs to do what they need to do. Seeing how you've waited two years and your feeling towards your religion haven't changed any, I think it would be time to take it up with someone other than yourself. Personally, I believe your sister would be the best bet. Sibilings are more understanding than parents seem to be because parents usually seem to think we act on instancts, when in fact, we do think things though quite often. Granted, talking to your sister, you're boundd to get a lecture or two, but I think she'll be more understanding. Sooner or later you'll have to face your mom. A more indirect approach may be appropreate in this case, aka a letter, that way you can say everything you want to say in a detailed a well though out way instead of haveing to try and fight your way through a conversation. Hawever, if your like me, you may like the direct approach. But that's for you to figure out when the time comes.



Best of luck

Dobby
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Re: How Can I Tell Them

Post by linds*07 » Sun Feb 06, 2005 12:44 am

Well you could tell them, but be prepared for a nuclear blow out. hard core christians, like the ones that lead youth groups, dont take kindly to their loved ones not believing the way they do. i know how you feel. my entire belief systme is totally different from my mothers, and i cant say anything bc ill be cast into the shadows like a friggin bad memory......but whatever you do, just be yourself no matter what the say, they can try to change you, and if you do what you want and stay strong you can make it through, but giving in will bring you to your knees.



good luck.....
I sit alone in darkness

and peer into the world

i wonder what has happened

that made this so ubsurd



i know the times have changed

and all the people too

but now im lost among them

with nothing left to do



i cant say what i want to

for my words they wont accept

my sanity has been fading

and hope is all thats left



theres no one there to guide me

and i cant see through the pain

i grab the knife secretly

and cut away at my vein



the one that matters most

that makes the blood flow through

i watch it all drain slowly

and remember what is true



the people stepping around me

didnt care at all

so now as im dying

I'm obeying the satanic call.





-my mind. =(

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