I Just Don't Know What To Believe

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alnieve
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I Just Don't Know What To Believe

Post by alnieve » Sat Oct 22, 2005 1:03 am

I don't even know what I believe anymore. I used to believe so strongly in God and I had so much faith in Him. But over the past year or so, my faith has almost virtually disappeared. The more I think about it, God just does not logically make sense. It just doesn't.



Sometimes I do want to believe in God again. (Because most of the time, I don't think I do.) I wish I did believe in God so that I could have some kind of ... I don't know, connection? It's hard to explain. I guess in some ways believing in God would be like a kind of support system for me. Sort of make it so I wasn't dealing everything on my own. But the thing is, in reality it really just seems like that's how it is... That I'm on my own and there is no God out there. Life is just life and that's it. There's nothing else after that. The more I look at it from a logical standpoint, it just seems like God and really any religion is something that was made up a long time ago to explain things that people couldn't understand, but that we are beginning to understand now.



It's just hard. Half of me wants to believe in God and have a strong faith again. The other half of me keeps telling me that it's all just so illogical.



Even if I decided that I didn't believe in God, not much would change, really. I know my parents would still force me to go to church and whatnot. I'd probably never be able to tell them that I didn't believe in any of it. (I do have reasoning to believe that...but I won't get into it.)



I guess that if I did believe in God, it would just make life easier. I wouldn't have to deal with my parents/family. And I really wouldn't have to deal with the "what ifs", you know? Like the, "What if I'm wrong and there IS a God?"



It's just that there's such a strong part of me that truly does not believe. It seems like that part of me is continuously overwhelming the doubt that there might be a God.



*sigh* I really don't know what to do. I think about it more and more and I really don't know what to do. Maybe I'm just thinking about it too much. I know that people say that God is too much for the human mind to grasp, but maybe they just say that because when you try to understand it, you realize it's not really possible.



I'm just not sure. I suppose there's always going to be that doubt in me, but maybe that's just because I've been raised strictly Catholic for 16 years.



I don't know what to believe... *sigh*
[CENTER]She would change everything[/CENTER]

[CENTER]for happy ever after.[/CENTER]

[CENTER]Caught in the in-between,[/CENTER]

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Paris In Flames
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Re: I Just Don't Know What To Believe

Post by Paris In Flames » Sat Oct 22, 2005 4:23 am

Hmmm....



I think only you can decide this babe. But I'm like you (well, ha, not really). But I think like you, (well, the whole non-god half, at least).



I was raised without a religion, and everyday I find that I am surrounded by people who rely on an intangible object for hope. One of my friends said the other day, "Dear god, please give me strength to do blabh blah blah." You know, the usual.



What struck me the most about this was that this girl, who is SO brilliant and amazing, PLEADED to something because she felt that she couldn't do it herself. She couldn't do it herself. I think that people use the concept of god and faith because they don't have enough faith in THEMSELVES to accomplish what they can obviously do.



I think that people believe in heaven because they're scared to know what will happen when they die. I think that people rely on this all powerful being because we, as mankind, simply don't have the answers to everything. Think about it, without religion, there would be complete and utter chaos. We have ALWAYS used some sort of mysticism and spiritualism to make up for the lack of knowledge that we have regarding certain subjects. The Egyptians thought that the gods were mad when it rained and there was thunder and lighting. We obviously later proved that it wasn't true, and now we laugh at the idea. But to them, it was real.



I can't help but wonder if, in a thousand years, people will laugh at us.



Love you,



Jenna
xMOSHx xHELLA HARDCOREx xBREAKDOWNx



The tragedy is the ignorance behind the clean casket

On the outside, they look so good

They're walking to Wallstreet in a straightjacket...

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