Moderator: Sex & Relationships Moderators
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Mon Aug 08, 2011 12:35 am
On the whole week i felt horrible all the time because her dad would squeeze right under my butt/my butt every time i walked bye and nobody could see he would look at me weird. He touched my hips to show me how to miny golf/bowl and he always said i was his favorite of alll her friends. He grabbed my ankles in the pool and said creepy things and touched my hips and stuff the whole week. He would try to be alone with me and i always got out the situation, but i think he was gonna do something bad. When i got home i cried so much and told my sister because i realize hes been doing gross things like this the whole time ive known them sense i was a little kid. Im so oblivious wearing tanks and short shorts around him. I never wanted to admit it though and i feel disgusting and i have an unclear memory of him molesting me as a child. My mom is horrified. (my sister told her) ive talked to my parents and they never want me to see her but i love her sooooo much its not that simple.
Oh and two things i forgot to say:
* her mom was mean to me all week cuz she was jealous or something, is this my fault???
* in the car i was asleep on the way back and i woke up and the car was stopped we were getting gas and i was alone with her dad cuz everyone needed to pee but he sat next to me and was like wouldnt It be nice if it was just you and me back here, and he raised his eyebrow weird. And i was just like uh sure roomy but it was so awkward. And one time he was behind me in the car and was touching my hair.
Bye the way im 13 idk if i said that
- Posts: 38
- Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 2:20 pm
That sounds really bad, especially that you're not sure for how long ago this has been going on. I'm really sorry to hear that. I understand what a tough situation you're in, not sure whether to continue your friendship with your friend or not. And i know that you're positive you want to stay friends with her, but at the same time you don't want to have anything to do with her dad. But the thing is, every person always chooses his family ahead of anyone, and if you were to tell her about what her dad does to you, or if she found out in any way, she will choose her dad, without thinking twice, and she'll call you a liar, even if she'd be secretly doubting her judgment, and she'll take his side and defend him, no matter who long she's known you, or how strong your friendship is, or that you have no reason to lie about something like that. But it's always family that come as a first priority, so even if you tell her, then things will completely change between you and it will never be the same. And if you don't tell her, then it's always going to not be the same for you, and she'll notice that, and you'll end up fighting, and you'll break up, and she'll never know why, and she'll blame you and say you just walked away after a very long friendship for no reason.
So in my opinion, I think that you can stay friends with her, but only in a diplomatic distant way,and just stop going over to her house or going on vacations with her, and avoid her dad completely, and if she asks you about it, tell her that you're uncomfortable around her dad, and that your parents don't allow you to hang around too much when her parents are there, and you basically just have to take a step backwards in this friendship, no matter how much it'll hurt, but you have to.
Besides, do you think your parents might confront her parents, or do they just want you to stay away from your friend without giving her a reason why?
Also, about her mom being jealous, it's not your fault, you did nothing wrong, she probably notices or feels that her husband is always checking out other girls/women, because a wife can sense that when her husband is this type of man, so it wasn't really you who she was mad at, but she was upset that you're another one of those girls who her husband is interested in. So by the way, you might find that your friend's mother is actually telling her to stay away from you too, so you might find that your friend is going to start to become a little distant too from your friendship, so it's basically kind of from both sides.
Why don't you tell me your opinion about what I said, and then we can discuss it further? And update me if anything new happened.