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She Hasn't Died Yet, But I'm Losing Her........
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2006 2:12 pm
by Barbies are Evil
And truthfully I can't even formulate my thoughts very well, so I know this might be annoying, but I am going to put snippets of a convorsation i'm having so I might make sense......... Heart7799 [1:56 PM]: its just that someone who has meant a lot to me my entire life is very sick.......
Heart7799 [1:56 PM]: she just looks deathly ill.......all the color is gone from her........ Heart7799 [1:57 PM]: someone from my moms job Heart7799 [1:58 PM]: and I just.......dont want to deal with this, can't watch her die......... Heart7799 [2:01 PM]: can't.........
Heart7799 [2:01 PM]: don't want to........
Heart7799 [2:01 PM]: don't want this to be true, can't deal with it being true..........
so yeah, thats whats wrong, thats why i'm not doing so well
Re: She Hasn't Died Yet, But I'm Losing Her........
Posted: Sat Jul 15, 2006 4:27 pm
by CanadaCraig
Hi Barbies are Evil!!
I'm truly sorry to hear that someone who has meant a lot to you all your life is not doing well. It's horrible to witness the 'life force' [if you will] drain from someone - anyone - but especially someone we care very much for. But it's important [in situations like this] to put aside how WE might feel - and concern ourselves MORE with how the 'other one' feels. [how the one we care about feels] No one WANTS to deal with situations like this. It's heart-breaking for a start - but also threatening in the sense that it forces us to come face to face with the reality of life. And that is - we are all only temporary residents. We all 'move on' eventually. We are all born and we all die. And as frustrating as that can be - at times - we must TRY NOT to focus on the 'inevitables' of life but on those things that we DO have some control over. In other words - you can not do anything about the physical health of the person you care for - but you CAN do something about the emotional and spiritual health of that person. You CAN be compassionate. You CAN be caring. And you CAN be supportive and kind. [and so on] Those 'cans' are what you need to focus on. It takes courage - sometimes a LOT of courage - to move beyond how WE might feel in order to do with 'right thing'. But I think we owe something to those people in our life who have meant a lot to us. We owe it to THEM to 'be there' FOR THEM when they might need us most of all.
GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!!
Re: She Hasn't Died Yet, But I'm Losing Her........
Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2006 4:49 pm
by Barbies are Evil
I just don't want to deal with this....feel like i'm being ripped apart at the seams..........I can't control this, and I can't control my reaction........
Re: She Hasn't Died Yet, But I'm Losing Her........
Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 2:19 pm
by WhOaMi?
i know how much this hurts...but if the person is sick.in pain.....maybe it is better....and i know that everyone says this but she is going to a better and you will see her when it is your time to go.....i know what it feels like....last year someone who ws jst like a mom to me died....but she had a heart attack (she was only 48)....it was a big shock...and it was horrible....but i relize she wouldnt want to be sad....you just have to work throuhg it...i believe in you.....you will be ok!
Re: She Hasn't Died Yet, But I'm Losing Her........
Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 2:31 pm
by Kit
We've attempted to talk about this. I'm hoping what I said will help. But again, spend time with her if you can get yourself to do it. She may or may not get out of this but atleast she'll know that she has your support. You can do it hun. You're a stong person. How is she now since it's been a couple days? We all love you and support you. If you ever want to talk - you know you can talk to me. *hugs*
Re: She Hasn't Died Yet, But I'm Losing Her........
Posted: Sat Jul 29, 2006 2:59 pm
by rockerchick
Go to her! If you don't, it will be the one huge regret you will have if she doesn't make it.
My friend died of cancer a little over a year ago. I went to see her once in the entire year and a half that she was sick. I was an ignorant fool, seeing as how we were both 15 when she was diagnosed, i couldn't even fathom the idea that she may not make it, even though she had a type of brain tumor that no one has survived from for more than 2 years. The one time i saw her was a week before she died on her 17th birthday. And she was so drained and sick that we couldn't really have our "last time" together. Before that, the last thing we said to each other was a fight. I'll never know if she forgave me. I'll never know if she had any hard feelings toward me for not coming to see her more. There's ten zillion more questions i have that i want to ask her, but will never get the chance. There's ten zillion more things i want to tell her, but will never get the chance.
Think about your friend lying there, how bored she must be, how sad she must be about missing out on so much. Give her happiness in her bad times. Tell her everything you want her to know. Ask her every question you've ever had. Let her know how much she means to you. Please don't do what i did. I promise you that not a day will go by when you won't think about all the things you could have done. LOVE HER! I know it's hard, and I know you don't want to think about it, but it's true and everything may work out just perfectly! But what if it doesn't. Don't let your last memories of her be sad, and don't let her last memories of you be "oh so long ago...". Best wishes to you and your friend.