Where Did It Go?

[Bleeding~Hero]

Tuesday, 3:00am.

i wake up in my bed, and somethings different. im not...me.

it was so strange.

Usually when i wake up in the morning, i lay there and think for a few minutes about me, my life, all the reasons to get up.

it was strange, i didnt care

all the issues i held sacred to me, the enviroment, my future, robotics, egypt, saving the planet from the hand of the human race.....i didnt care!

and i still dont! its like, im a shell. when i went to bed on monday, i still held all of these things with a passion.

it didnt fade, it didnt get old, it just disappeared.

im afraid you guys. its Sunday tomorrow, and im still a shell.

i feel, abandoned, but by what?

SOS!

[Dobby]

Ya know, I might just have an idea here for you. I stumbled across your other post in Family and Friends and it made me notice the great amount of stress that your under. Then it made me think back to a time that I was under a great amount of stress like yourself. I too lost interest in the things I loved: golfing, computers, mathematics, ect... For a while I though I was depressed, but then I finally came to realize that there was just sooooo much pressure and stress being applied upon me that either one, I didn't actually have time to do these things or two, I was too worried about myself and where my life was going currently that all I was doing was sitting around and thinking about what to do next. I worried that if I went golfing, I would miss out on valuable study time and fail my next test and other things like that, really stupid things when one really thinks about it because you can only golf during the day and therefore I would have all night to study.

Right now though, you have big problems on your hands. You have a Mother whom you believe to be drinking too much and you're worried about her. You also have your brother, who, believe it or not, you do love, and you are worried about what is going to happen to him. Then there is this whole problem with the step-family that I won't even go into. Someone close to you, close as in distance not the love spectrum, tried to commit suicide...I mean come on buddy! I wouldn't blame your brain if it just had a meltdown. On top of all this information it is trying to process, you're still going to school and doing other activities.

Just look at it in a prespective. Look at all the info your brain is trying to process. Maybe it decided, strangely enough on it's own, what was important and what is not and has put everything else on hold for a while. All I can say is that is what happened to me. In due time, after everything had passed, I did go back to golfing, and computers, and everything else I loved, and the funny thing is, I love it even more now.