I Hate Attractive Girls.....!

[Britt]

OK so I am going insane right now...I don't know if any of you will understand me...but that is because most gay people are not Christians as well...ok..so I met this girl a couple months ago...let's call her Jill*...since the first day we hung out we have hung out every day up until this moment...I have to go to work so that is why we are not together right now...lol...I have a lot of gay friends right...and one of my gay guy friends..lets call him Jon*..who is also a Christian...gave me a look the other day when me, him, and Jill* were hanging out...it was one of those..."do you like her" looks...and I had been thinking a lot lately about her...and if I might like her...I had been analyzing the way I felt when I was around her...and I couldn't make myself believe that I did like her...so I brushed it off...but then when Jon* asked about it....I couldn't deny it...so I told him that I think I might like her...but that I was really confused and needed to talk about it...so later on I am hanging with Jill* and Jon* calls me...so I leave her by herself for a moment and go off talking to him...we were outside so I just walked very far away from her...but I could still see her to make sure she wasn't going to sneek up on me and hear what I was saying...so we talked about her and how I might be feeling about her...and I ended up confessing that I really do like her and how crazy it is driving me...he advises me to not sleep next to her that night...because when me and her sleep next to eachother we are always touching and she likes to wrap her legs in mine and such...so I told him I wouldn't sleep next to her....but then it was 4 am and we decided to get to bed and we slept next to eachother...under the same covers...touching and everything...I talked to Jon* the next day...and told him about that...yeah very disappointed...so then me, Jon*, Jill*, and our friend Lacey* who is also a gay Christian..but only I and my gay Christian cousin know about that...lol...well we were all hanging out...and Lacey* would just give Jill* one look and I would get soooooo jealous...and Jon* would glance at me knowing that I was getting tired of Lacey* being around....and laugh at me...well then I saw some other chicks outside so I left the group and went to talk to them...and who comes out after a while? Jill*...it's like she can't stay away from me...we are together all the time..and it's not like we are just hanging out...but when we are together..it's like we are...TOGETHER...she is always touching me and holding my hand and putting her arms around me and when we are sitting around she is always laying on me or cuddling with me...whenever we sleep she wraps her legs in mine and stuff like that...she gives me these looks that peirce my heart...but in a good way...and she is always saying very affirmative things about how much she loves me and such...but the problem is...she is a Christian! so I am confused out of my mind...usually gay Christians are not so frank with their actions...they try to hide it because it is shameful in God's eyes and in other Christians eyes...so I can't see her ever being gay or bi...but then the other day I was talking to Jon* and he tells me that I should tell her because...she has "done stuff like this before" meaning that she has had some sort of relationship with a girl before...and I was like..woahh...apparently her old best friend told Jon* some things...and so now I am more confused than before...and she doesn't know that I am gay...well I have not told her anyways...and I don't want to...because it really scares me...because what if it turns out she isssss gay or bi...then I have a huge problem on my hands...wondering if I should go with it or if I should stay away from it...I am thinking about staying away from her already even when I don't know the truth...just because I want these feelings to go away...and guess who just called me?...she did... gosh I am going insane...I truely can't picture me and her being apart though...so I am sure I would never try and destroy the realtionship that me and her have so far...and gosh I seriously get so dang furious when Lacey* is around...because I know she is gay and I can see that she thinks Jill* is hot...I talked to her about it...told her to stay away from her and to guard herself...but I said these things from a Christian perspective...not from a jealous perspective...I don't want her to notice that I like Jill*...I am not to obvious about it...just the fact that Jill* hangs all over me might give something away...I hate this crap...anyone have anything to say on this?????

[FiZzBaW]

Friend,



I am kinda confused, I read your post a few times, but I am still unclear on some things.



This is what I have gathered, You are Gay, and you are Christian..... All of your friends you spoke of are Christian, except maybe this "lacey" girl.....



Now what I am confused about is, do you not accept that you are gay and you think that God looks down on gay people? or do you not want to do "anything" with this girl because you don't want to admit to yourself that you are gay.....



If you could clarify if you are concerned about being Christian and Gay, or just being Gay in general... I dunno I am just kinda lost, but I want to help.....



If YOU don't want to be in a relationship for whatever reason, and you truly don't want to, then don't, but if its because of what people will think or what not, I think you should go for it if you are both in love, and really care for each other. If you two are happy together, than no one has a right to cause you to avoid such a relationship......



If this is more of a how Christianity views Gays etc, please let me know so I can move this to Religion.....



-Jared



-Sorry I couldn't help more, I am still confused.... so if you can clarify I will try to help more....

[Paris In Flames]

...I'm seriously hella confused. Try adding some punctuation.



What I gathered was that you really like her...and everybody's Christian? What the fuck does that have to do with anything?



Honestly, who gives a fuck? If you Christian friends are gay..and um...you're gay...does it matter? You're doing what makes you fucking happy - don't think any less of anything that you want or can picture yourself doing.



Does she know you're gay? Umm...I'd like, kiss her.



Can you clarify, or something?



Cheers,



Jenna



P.S. I fucking LOVE attractive girls.

[angelviccy]

[Paris In Flames]

Originally posted by angelviccy@Jun 11 2005, 04:36 AM

its her relgion tho.. Christians rnt really for same sex people.. i think personally u should respect other peoples veiws a lil more, she could be hurt by wot u sed u know.

[right][/right]

I never meant any insult. I don't understand why she makes such a big deal with the whole Christian thing. If her friends are GAY and CHRISTIAN, yet they're condemning her for her actions? Umm..yeah, that's not right.



Whatever.



Cheers,



Jenna



P.S. ::le sigh:: Can people please use proper spelling and grammar? It's hard to read...

[FranklinF]

well i think like jenna says being that you are all christian and you are all gay the christian part is kinda eliminated other than the fact that you come down hard on yourselves... i say you need to talk to Jill* about it-MARY

[angelviccy]

i dnt think u did mean 2 insult her. but the way u put it, may have insulted her in a way that u dont know.

ur not religous u dont know theese things

she wants 2 follow hers but at the same time wnts the girl.

u r intillied 2 ur point of veiw but i think u should think about it more before u express it.

[SirPostAlot]

Originally posted by angelviccy@Jun 11 2005, 07:13 PM

she wants 2 follow hers but at the same time wnts the girl.

u r intillied 2 ur point of veiw but i think u should think about it more before u express it.

[right][/right]

Ok i, too, am not religious and this is not to come off insulting, but i do not understand why people alter their life and their feelings to please others, i.e. religions...



We are always told to be ourselves - and to love who we are...

We are always told that no matter what our friends do or say, we should not cave into peer pressure and live our lives the way we want...

We are always told to live our lives to the fullest and not be ashamed of who we are...



But yet we will alter who we are because of our religion...



I do not believe this is right nor practical nor is it realitist...



Our life is short, we all know that...

So we should live our lives the way we want...



If that means being a lesbian or having an abortion or not donating money or donating all of your money and living homeless, then that shoudl be fine...



We should mature and live our lives from what our heart says...

In all honostly and reality, put the bible and all the other exterier influences aside and listen to your heart...



If you will look deep inside your heart, it will veer you the right direction and veer you away from the Bible and other peer pressures...and if its veering you toward the bible, your not looking deep enough....



*again this was not meant insultingly...i just believe that there is more to life then to be perswaded by exterior influences...



~Jeff~

[SirPostAlot]

This topic is on the border of religion and sexuality, but it says all religion should be talked about in there, so i am moving this...



- Religion...



~Jeff~

[Britt]

I would just like to say to Jeff that being a Christian is not a religion. It is a relationship with Christ. There are no "do's and don't's". When you understand what being a Christian is like, you can talk to me. Until then, don't tell me to stop following Christ and "going towards the bible". Anyways...



I just want to apologize first for making that post so confusing. I was in a very hectic state at the time but I am feeling much better now.



All of the people that I was referring to in the story are gay besides the girl that I like. That is where the real problem is. And also all of the people in the story are Christians.



No, I am not concerned about being a gay Christian. I have been dealing with that for a while and I think I am good in that area.



However, I am concerned about liking a girl who is a Christian. Most Christian girls don't turn out to be gay.



At about 3 A.M. on Saturday I told her that I am gay. She had not known about it when I posted that story. It was a very hard thing to tell her, but God was telling me that I should and if I didn't I would have felt very guilty, so I just went with it.



After telling her I didn't talk to her for an hour. Not because she didn't want to, but because I was spending some time with God. Then after a while we just randomly talked as if everything was the same still, which it is. We prayed together about it and when she was praying for me I noticed she was a little confused about me being gay. So we talked about it around 8:30 A.M. Saturday(we were together from 9 P.M. Friday until 12 A.M. Sunday...awake the entire time). She asked me when I found out I was gay and other normal questions like that. She seems to be completely content with this situation. Though I know she does not condone it and we talked about that as well. I told her about repenting against it and such. So we just continued to hang out like we normaly do. There was a funny incident where I was laying in her room and she was getting ready to take a shower and she came in her room with almost nothing on her body and we both screamed. That was really amusing. Wasn't awkward or anything and that is cool. So we hung out for hours after I had told her I was gay and during that time we hugged, held hands a lot, layed together, etc... This is very good because that is how it was before I told her I am gay. So she isn't acting any different around me. BUT, I didn't tell her that I like her and I do not know if I ever will because it is something that she does not need to know.



So I am still concerned about liking her, but I know I will just have to wait until that goes away or if she decides to come on to me...lol. I don't want her to do that, and if she does I would most definately pull away, I would hope so atleast. Being a gay Christian is not the funnest life to lead, I'll tell ya that much.



I hope I clarified things here.

[loz1988]

Hey Britt,

it seems to me that you are alittle frightened about your feelings and maybe its because this is new to you? Maybe you have never had a girl show that interest in you so visually?

You obviously like it and feel as much as your friend is showing you. There arnt many girls i know that are so open about there feelings for each other. I feel you should discuss this with her.....Maybe tell her that you have noticed how she is very touchy feely with you? what is it all in aid of? I also think you need to consider the friendship between you aswell, is it worth loosing? Afterall no one on these forums cam see and analyse this girls behaviour for you and see the things you have said to give any other advice but please be careful in what you act opon x x xwb loz x

[Britt]

I am just wondering Loz if you read the post above you



anyways...these feelings arn't new to me...and I have had girls show me that kind of affection before...I have known I'm gay since 6th grade afterall.



I have just never had a Christian girl show me this kind of affection.



That is what the main problem is. And even after she knows that I struggle with this, she is still that affectionate.

[5a5]

ur story confused me a lot im not exactly sure if u have a question ? but the way i see it u're christian, u met a girl that u like that likes u back, some guy friend of urs is making comments about it umm.. so what? it's ur life ur choices and ur decisions i dont see what religion and ur friends have to do with ur love life

[Britt]

5a5:



did you read all of the posts in this topic? I hate it when ppl don't do that. Then they don't know everything.



And if you were a Christian you would see why it has a lot to do with my love life. But since you are not, you don't understand. And btw, my friends don't have a thing to do with my love life. I was just mentioning something in that story about my friend making comments. But you should read the second post I made because it kind of clarify's things.