right now im so freakin upset! today was a horrible day and i dont know what to do. first of all ill just start with my car, a little history on it, its been stolen twice, it donest run that great, it always dies when im at stop lights and now it dies when im driving down the road and today it wouldnt even start! my dad and step dad have "fixed it" a million times now and it still wont work! and no one will take it to a shop bcuz "they know what theyre doing" i wanted to cry today cuz it wouldnt start and like i have work and ugh its not fair!
so today i couldnt even leave my house cuz i had no way to get anywhere and walking was out of the questions cuz its way to far and so i had to depend on other people and i dont like then. then tonight i was forced to go hang out with a bunch of poeople that i dont like well i do but i was just in a bad mood already so i just wanted to stay home but no my mom made me go and the whole time i wanted to cry and i was so upset and then i get home and one of my friends is all mad at me then like im just so upset. then i started my period 2 weeks before i was suposta and like that made me mad too.
and things have just been going down hill for me. its been about a month since i cut and i dont even really want to do that right now, im just so upset and sad and down and i knew it was gona hit me cuz its been awhile since ive actually felt depressed and when that happens it hits me really hard and i just wish it would all go away. i feel like im nothing. i hate myself, i hate the way i look, i feel so fat and gross, and not pretty and just so horrible. i feel left out bcuz everyone i know has a boyfriend and im the only one that has never even had one at all. and i dont know, i just feel so horrible about myself right now, i just want to cry. i need a hug and i have no one to give me one, i never have anyone. im tired of feeling like this. :'(
Im Tired Of All Of This
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dead rose
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Im Tired Of All Of This
Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.
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Anna_Banana
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Re: Im Tired Of All Of This
*BIG HUG*
sweetie, we all go through these things. don't feel that you are alone. i'm here for you. to help yourself get through this, stand in front of the mirror everyday and tell yourself "i am beautiful, i love myself, and i am not fat" say it until you mean it. that may help you with what you think about yourself. was there anything that may have triggered this depression? and i'm so proud of you for not wanting to cut. that's a huge step. very good judgement of you. if you need to talk, i'm here for you. pm me anytime, love.
sweetie, we all go through these things. don't feel that you are alone. i'm here for you. to help yourself get through this, stand in front of the mirror everyday and tell yourself "i am beautiful, i love myself, and i am not fat" say it until you mean it. that may help you with what you think about yourself. was there anything that may have triggered this depression? and i'm so proud of you for not wanting to cut. that's a huge step. very good judgement of you. if you need to talk, i'm here for you. pm me anytime, love.
if you need to talk feel free to pm me anytime
<3333 Anneliese
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dead rose
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Re: Im Tired Of All Of This
Originally posted by Anna_Banana@Sep 24 2005, 11:50 PM
*BIG HUG*
sweetie, we all go through these things. don't feel that you are alone. i'm here for you. to help yourself get through this, stand in front of the mirror everyday and tell yourself "i am beautiful, i love myself, and i am not fat" say it until you mean it. that may help you with what you think about yourself. was there anything that may have triggered this depression? and i'm so proud of you for not wanting to cut. that's a huge step. very good judgement of you. if you need to talk, i'm here for you. pm me anytime, love.
[right][/right]
I cant stand in front of a mirror and say that bcuz i have a hard enough time looking at myself in the first place. beside i do feel fat, i gained like 5 pounds and thats horrible 5 pounds just in the last few weeks...and i dont even know why. and i dont really know what triggered all of this, it just hits me like this and it is really bad when it does and usually takes some time to go away.
Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.
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Anna_Banana
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Re: Im Tired Of All Of This
i'm sorry hun. if you need to talk to anyone feel free to pm me, or im me on aim DulceChck
if you need to talk feel free to pm me anytime
<3333 Anneliese
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dead rose
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Re: Im Tired Of All Of This
Originally posted by Anna_Banana@Sep 26 2005, 12:31 PM
i'm sorry hun. if you need to talk to anyone feel free to pm me, or im me on aim DulceChck
[right][/right]
Thanks anna. I know Im probably just being cranky and dificulte right now. but Im at work so I can say much right now but Ill pm you later. thanks though.
Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.
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Anna_Banana
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Re: Im Tired Of All Of This
no problem sweetheart. i'm always here if you need me.
if you need to talk feel free to pm me anytime
<3333 Anneliese