Not quite pain, not quite sadness or anger, it is a strange feeling indeed.
I can feel it intensify.
I have a cigarette which seems to calm it slightly. I want another, but I decide not to (I only have one left).
It seems somewhat familiar, as though I've felt it before... but when?
What is this strange feeling in my brain?
I know I've felt it before, but I can not recall exactly what it is.
I start to suspect what this feeling is, and I think i know what can make it go away.
Yes, now i remember. It's the urge to do something i shouldn't.
i know i shouldnt but i want to.
If i do, then this horrible feeling would go away.
It would feel so good, so relaxing... No, i really shouldn't.
Just once, maybe twice. No. Don't do it, James. It's not worth it.
... i will try keep myself away from walls until this feeling is gone. i think i'll just go lay down . . .
(I wrote this as I started to feel the urge to wallbash. A feeling I have not felt in quite some time.)
<-- In case it isnt obvious by the name, this is basically what i mean by wallbashing.