Not Believed

[njh88_07]

I told my mom that I am Bi and she said it's not possible she doesn't believe me I didn't say anything on here because at first I was ashamed but now I can't live with her not believeing me what do I do?

[SirPostAlot]

i say just let her believe what she wants to believe and live your life the way you want to life it...

you shouldn't be ashamed of your sexuality...

i



just live your life and if shes bothered by it, then its her perogataive and her problem . . .



~Jeff~

[Bleeding~Hero]

The same thing happened to my sister!



She waited until she was 21 and moved out to tell her (that way, my extremely conservative mom couldn't kick her out our do something drastic...aka send her to sexual orientation reassignment camp)

yeah, she didnt believe my sister either, and my sister got mad. long story short, my sister had lesbian sex on my mom's couch (she tells me everything).



anyway, since i witnessed the situation first hand, i can tell you that my mom never really did believe her. i'm not even sure if she still does, and it's been 4 years. but then again, my sister has never brought a gf to my mom's house.

[Doug]

There isn't really a whole lot you can do. If you get into a relationship with another woman, then things might change. But, aside from that, just be yourself. Don't worry about whether or not she believes you - believe in yourself.



PS You might want to change your profile now.

[CanadaCraig]

I told my mom that I am Bi and she said it's not possible she doesn't believe me I didn't say anything on here because at first I was ashamed but now I can't live with her not believeing me what do I do?

[/b]

Hi lucky18807!!



No doubt - that would have REALLY hurt. Here you are - mustering up all the courage you could find to TELL your mom - and then she rejects your TRUTH. It's horrible not to be believed. But I think [as painful as this was for you] that YOU are going to have to understand and appreciate that your mom's response had LESS to do with YOU [and who YOU are] and MORE to do with your mom and who SHE is. In other words - your mom rejected your truth because for her to accept what you said would put HER in a position to have to change the expectations she has for you. And THAT is asking a LOT of any parent. Try your best to be compassionate and understanding of your mom. Say to yourself, "OK - that didn't go the way I hoped - but that's OK. I still love my mom and I know she loves me. So out of that love I'm going to TRY to be patient and allow my mom some TIME to work this out."



The 'funny' thing is - some parents believe [and this may or may not apply to your mom] that IF they refuse to accept that their son or daughter is gay or bisexual - then their child will STOP BEING gay or bisexual. But more often than not - the rejection of a child's declaration [regarding their sexual orientation] will cause a child to DEFEND their labelled identity - even IF their sexual feelings change. [as they often do] This is why it's so important to ACCEPT someone else's feelings. [Even IF we don't understand them] But that's often easier said than done.



It may not feel like it right now - but you're going to be OK.



GREAT BIG HUG

Craig!!

[Paris In Flames]

Eh, fuck her.

Get a girlfriend and bring her home.

That'll do it.

[Jake]

My mom did the exact same thing. It made me so upset at first because I wanted her to accept me completely, but after a while I realized that it'll be ok. I decided in my mind that it's obviously not my obligation to make her believe me, and I had given her the chance to be closer to me by knowing that part.



Now, a few years later, although she never says anything about it, I know she has come to term with the fact that I am gay. . . . She never asks me anymore if I've found any girls I like or things that she used to say. Of course, her and I never talk about boyfriends but I'm ok with that because I never did talk to my mom about personal things like that.



What I'm trying to say is, you've done more than you had to by telling her, and it's great that you did. You just can't let the things you can't control, control you. You are still you, and you'll be just fine without her knowing. She just needs time to figure it out that you wern't joking. If you'd ever want to hit it home with her to get the point across you could always say what you're thinking out loud about girls (like "That girl's so pretty"), but that's not garaunteed because girls give other girls compliments all the time.





Just be true to yourself and you'll be fine. Your mom will come around to you soon enough :-)

[Lostinhersong]

I understand what you're going through completely...When I told my mom I was bisexual...she said "Most kids your age are confused Jennifer...maybe you're just going through a phase...?" Needless to say...she's never brought up the subject again...and is now in denial...I don't ever bring it up to her, or anyone else in my family...It's taken me a while, but I have finally began excepting myself for who I am....In time, you will do that same.

[Paris In Flames]

I would also like to state that we are all very young.

And still don't know our sexual orientation.

And may never know it.



So don't stress about being something.

Just do what you want.

I ahte it when people are like, "I'M BISEXUAL!!"

Because a lot of the time...

No, they're not.