Sorry To Make Another Topic..

[Vanessa]

I have this thing where I never say no to people. Anytime they ask me to do something, I always say yes. People know to come to me because they know I'll say yes. People have come to me asking favors and even though I really didn't want to do them or couldn't do them, but I did. I guess I'm just really afraid to say no to people. I always think, "If I say no, will they not like me?" That's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that if I say no, they'll get mad at me. I feel the need to always please them.



And I'm afraid to voice my opinions. Like if someone said, "I like Ashlee Simpson, do you?" and I really didn't like her at all I'd still say yes. I don't remember a time when I have ever said what I truly believe about anything. I really don't know why I'm so afraid.



People ask me my favorite things and I'm afraid to say what they are. I don't even know what they are because I just say whatever they said.



That's bad isn't it?

[xJuliex]

You sound like you have a passive personality. NOT a good thing. You need to try to improve that. I mean REALLY REALLY try. Being passive puts you under more stress, and it hides the real you. What you need to be is assertive. If you can't do something, or you don't want to, say no (unless it's your parents or a teacher or someone like that, of course). Maybe get a friend that can help you through that. Tell her you don't like being so passive, and whenever she catches you being like that, she can help you stop.

If you need anything else, I'm here.



I know it's hard to say no, but sometimes you really need to.

[Omi]

I know how you feel because I find myself unable to say No sometimes. But there are various ways to express your opinion and to reject people.



For instance, if your friend asks to do something for them, you can use passive aggressive way to reject them. Just tell them that, you will be working on a project that you might not be able to have time to help them. If you feel really guulty for lying to them, you can offer to help them think of other ways to get help. That way you spend only 5 minutes to help out your friend, instead of a whole hour just to do her stuff. SO in a way, you did help.



If friends ask you if you like Ashlee simpson, you dont really need to tell them that you dont like her. (that is if you are not comfortable) You can simply said, I heard her songs on MTV, I think she's all right. Just not my type, but I like her outfit. etc....In a way, you tell your friends that you are not too crazy about ashlee simpson, but you dont totally hate her either. There are things that you like about her and you dont like about her.

[Dobby]

Dodging the bullet is always hard to do if you've always accepted what is just asked of you no matter what. Here's something you said though that I found interesting.



"People know to come to me because they know I'll say yes. People have come to me asking favors and even though I really didn't want to do them or couldn't do them, but I did. I guess I'm just really afraid to say no to people."



Here's how I understand that. You say that your afraid that people won't like you if you don't help them correct? Here's the bonus question though. Are these people coming to you for help because they are your friends or are they just anyone that come up to you for help? I understand your fears of rejection, but sooner or later, you'll have to face it, it's a fact of life, and to tell the truth, it's not as bad as you might think.



Here's the good side to the story though. You are realizing what is going on in your life, as many many many many before you have not. Hopefully since you see what's going on, with a little push from us, you can concentrate a little more on yourself, and a little less on everyone else. Granted, its good to help out once in a while, but not every oppertunity that you get, you'll overwork yourself (like I did)



Talk to ya later

Dobby