This Is So Discouraging
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 12:34 am
So this year, I had a really tough time deciding whether or not I would play high school softball again this year. I was really, really leaning toward not playing anymore, but I decided I would just stick it out and see how things went. Apparently I made the wrong decision.
Practices started last Friday. So we've been practicing for only a week, and I already feel like giving up. I mean we haven't even had a game yet!
Anyways, the reason why it's so discouraging is because my coach is having me practice with the freshmen/sophomore team. Now, this doesn't sound so bad, but it's awful. All of the people on the fresh/soph team haven't played softball at the higher level, ever. Whereas I've been playing (and competing well) at a higher level for 5 years.
It's just that I KNOW that I don't belong on that low of a team. I know that I should at least be playing Junior Varsity. I don't want to sound cocky, it's just that I know I'm better than that. I'm not confident about very many things, but I am confident that I don't belong on that team.
The coach had me practicing with them all week. Then yesterday I practiced with J.V. and I really did pretty well. But today he put me back with the fresh/soph team. I just feel like I'm being totally jerked around and not given any chance to show myself.
It's just so discouraging, especially when I was about to quit this season. I had alot of good reasons to, but I decided against it because I would miss softball so much if i quit. But now it seems like everything that I feared would happen, is happening.
And, I've literally been working so hard to prove myself. I conditioned all winter long with our track team to get in shape for softball. I've put in a ton of extra hours outside practice. And for what? To be put on the lowest team? I'm working so hard, it just isn't getting me anywhere.
Maybe I should have quit. Things are just so upsetting and discouraging, and I'm not sure I can deal with it.
I've got to at least stick it out the rest of the season though. I can't quit something I've already started. But it might not be very good, you know? I'm doing everything I can to prove myself, to better myself, but it's getting me nowhere. *sigh* I guess it's just going to be a long season.
Sorry about the long, pointless vent.
Amanda
Practices started last Friday. So we've been practicing for only a week, and I already feel like giving up. I mean we haven't even had a game yet!
Anyways, the reason why it's so discouraging is because my coach is having me practice with the freshmen/sophomore team. Now, this doesn't sound so bad, but it's awful. All of the people on the fresh/soph team haven't played softball at the higher level, ever. Whereas I've been playing (and competing well) at a higher level for 5 years.
It's just that I KNOW that I don't belong on that low of a team. I know that I should at least be playing Junior Varsity. I don't want to sound cocky, it's just that I know I'm better than that. I'm not confident about very many things, but I am confident that I don't belong on that team.
The coach had me practicing with them all week. Then yesterday I practiced with J.V. and I really did pretty well. But today he put me back with the fresh/soph team. I just feel like I'm being totally jerked around and not given any chance to show myself.
It's just so discouraging, especially when I was about to quit this season. I had alot of good reasons to, but I decided against it because I would miss softball so much if i quit. But now it seems like everything that I feared would happen, is happening.
And, I've literally been working so hard to prove myself. I conditioned all winter long with our track team to get in shape for softball. I've put in a ton of extra hours outside practice. And for what? To be put on the lowest team? I'm working so hard, it just isn't getting me anywhere.
Maybe I should have quit. Things are just so upsetting and discouraging, and I'm not sure I can deal with it.
I've got to at least stick it out the rest of the season though. I can't quit something I've already started. But it might not be very good, you know? I'm doing everything I can to prove myself, to better myself, but it's getting me nowhere. *sigh* I guess it's just going to be a long season.
Sorry about the long, pointless vent.
Amanda