HelpingTeens: Support Groups

being almost 17, i went through the whole "denial, anger, acceptance" cycle once. it was the worse period of my life because it was a constant roler coaster ride. hell, I ALMOST KILLED MYSELF!

a month ago, i was hammering together the foundation of a GSA at my school with my own two hands, i was organizing my coming out of the closet, building up the courage to ask a guy out (like i haven't been trying to do that for the past 5 years), and writing a gay book.

All was well, until one day, i wake up, and i HATE MYSELF! i hate my bisexuality, i looked on it as if it were a disease! i was wanted to rip it out and burn it with the other faggots, and cleanse the earth. i wanted to track down all my gay friends and make examples of them.

i'm a little better now. it only comes in short spurts now. but that was the scariest experience of my life. i've decided to just start from square one again, and work my way back up in baby steps. im not looking to exterminate anyone anymore, but i'm still struggling with acceptance.

has anyone felt like this? do i really have to start all over?

Just because the hills are smaller and the turns are less crazy does not mean that you life is no longer a roller coaster. There are always ups and downs, twists and turns in your life. That you "backslid" is not a sign of weakness, changing attitude, or any of that. All it simply is is feelings that haven't been completely dealt with. Sure, you have gone through the cycle, but that doesn't mean you're done with it. It's a constantly fluid thing that never completely goes away, though as time goes on you recognize it and are able to live more comfortably with yourself. You constantly go through the cycle with all sorts of things in your life, but, like I say, the circle moves slower and the radius becomes smaller.

yeah i agree w/ TJ . . .

i have waken up, miserable and angry becuase in a way, especially where i live, it would be so much easier not to be gay . . . but within a few hours - to a couple days - i am back to the normal mentality where everything is peachy...

everyone goes through "cycles", if you will, about their sexuality - but do what you said you were doing, by taking baby steps and eventually working your way back to where you were . . . as the years progress, these few back-jumps will be come less severe and the baby steps will become more speedy...







~Jeff~

Thanks you guys, that really does clear it up a bit. lol, and here i thought i was going crazy again.