I hope you're having a great day.
Although what you are about to read may seem like a joke - it's not. In fact - it's very serious. And I'm saying that to you because I think many of you need to understand the sort of pressure that many of your Grandmothers and Great Grandmothers [And mothers of people my age] were under. Wives were told [In those days] that THEY were responsible for a 'happy home'. And were often given [As you will see below] a 'guide' on how to be a 'GOOD WIFE'. [There were MANY 'guides' written in those days - all of which said basically the same thing] The sort of pressure on wives back then was unfair and caused a great number of women to feel completely and totally responsible whenever something 'bad' happened to their relationship with their husbands and/or with their kids. And as a result of feeling completely responsible - many women felt great shame when something went horribly wrong. It was - after all - THEIR FAULT. [Or so they were lead to believe] So the next time you see 'Grandma' [Or any other older lady] try to be understanding and compassionate. Many of them were caught up in the 'storm' that was created by those who fought [And rightfully so] against the idea that a women is responsible - even IF the blame for a problem actually rested on the shoulders of their husbands. [I.E. - A woman must have been a failure as a wife IF her husband became an alcoholic - and so on] The following comes from an article in the May 13th, 1955 issue of 'Housekeeping Monthly' magazine. I typed out the article 'word for word'.
It's important to note that the article below was in a women's magazine and was written by a woman.
It is also important note that there is NOTHING WRONG with being a loving and supportive spouse or partner. In fact - that's exactly what we should be. But there is a big difference between being loving and supportive and being subservient.
GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!!
Housekeeping Monthly - May 13th, 1955
The Good Wife's Guide
- Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal [especially his favourite dish] is part of the warm welcome needed.
- Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
- Be a little gay [As in 'happy' - says Craig] and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
- Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
- Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc., and then run a dishcloth over the tables.
- Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will provide you with a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
- Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, [If they are small], comb their hair and , if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
- Be happy to see him.
- Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
- Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. Remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
- Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
- Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
- Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
- Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as a minor problem compared to what he might have gone through that day.
- Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom.
- Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
- Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
- Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
- A good wife always knows her place.
END
