i hate my best friend

[popsicle]

you all know my relationship with my best friend by now.

the damage between us.

he really fucked up last night. basically he sent me a video of him doing some things i dont like him doing and i definatly dont want to see.

i asked him how he could send that. and told him he ruined my day and that i didnt want to talk to him. it was a big deal day for me. 11 months ya know?

so of course he pulled in true brandon fashion a whatever right away when i said those things to him.

then right away he sent this long text saying that he forgot that i dont want to see things like that and that hes sorry he ruined my day and that hes a bad friend and hes really sorry and he feels bad and he loves me and goodnight.

okay yes, he appologized. it as a nice appology. he never appologizes for anything so when he does ya gotta take it. but he didnt appologize before he pulled his whatever first.

and so i went to bed really upset but glad he appologized. and i woke up to a text that said please dont be mad at me love you.

and i thought that was nice but i was still mad. he really messed up this time.

and then i get a text just like an hour ago thats like are you seriously not gonna talk to me. and i asked him to give me the day because i was still mad. its understandable. a day. geeze he just screwed up last night and im supposed to be over it now. and hes like whatever have the week bye. and im like are you seriously mad that im still mad and hes like its pathetic and so on and so forth.

and somehow, I end up appologizing. he always does that. gets me to appologize when he fucks up.

i dont get it. i dont know how it happens and it sucks and i wish i were dead.

i fucking hate him. i havent hated him in a long time and right now, i dont care if i ever see him again.

of course in true heidi fashion im pretending everythings fine now. just like always.

i feel like im in an abusive relationship im too scared to get out of.

im one of those girls.

im so upset.

[anonymous08]

*hugs*

i'll be back to post more later.