I Have No Genuine Friends?

[XenophobicToaster]

Heya guys, I have a bit of an issue with friendship at the moment.



I'll try not to bore too much with the details, but basically I'm a 17 year old male college student with no "genuine" friends. Throughout my entire school life I was always the one that got the blunt end of the stick with everyone else for what I can see to be no apparent reason. I was always mocked, made fun of, pushed about physically and mentally and to be honest it hasn't set me up well... This went on until I started college last year, in which I no longer get poorly treated, but I don't exactly get on with anyone in particular.



I study one course at this college which is music technology. There are no females doing this course, only men, so it always seems very masculine and self-centered. The problem is that most people in my class are older than me. The people I talk to most are both 22 years of age and as much as I get along with them, I'm not particularly friends with them as such, as they're very different to me and the only reason I have to communicate with them is work related conversations really. Now as this is my only class, I'm a bit stuck. I have virtually no communication with anyone in my college aside from those in my class and I can't hook up with anyone outside college from my old school because I didn't get on with anyone there. I never have anything to do in my free time. I've looked around for jobs, but seeing as the UK is still in recession, that's proving to be difficult. I've searched for volunteer work too - purely just to find some friends and believe it or not, nothing has come up in my town.



The only people I have to talk to are those on MSN or Skype. They're just random people I meet through the internet. As nice as they are, I'd like to be able to get out the house. I've just had a long Summer Break of 3 months, in which I left the house only once to meet up with someone who I met through the net. She was nice, but lives in London which is about 2 hours from me and very costly, so I can't really keep meeting with her.



I just don't really know what to do. My only hope at the moment is to wait another year until I go to university and see if that makes a difference, but it's still painful to endure in the meantime... I've never been into town with friends - not once. I've never been invited to parties or round people's houses throughout my life or anything. I have virtually no experience of socialisation, which is also something that worries me for if I do manage to find someone to hang about with. The idea of a girlfriend is probably a no-go as well, since like I said, I have practically no communication with females in my college. If I'm not at college, a day for me is to get up, go on the computer, play some Xbox, play some piano, go on the computer again and then sleep. That's it really.



Sorry for the long post, I'm just really confused with what I should do and I'm starting to feel really depressed from it. Thanks for any help.

[Barbies are Evil]

i'd just go and talk to people....like if you see someone that looks interesting in the line in the grocery store or something, strike up a convorsation, like ask them what the healthiest bread is or something. And i'd also talk to the people in your class, they are older so maybe they have some tips.....i'd just not be afraid.....yeah, some will reject you,but if you never take that chance, then your missing out on everything.

[Cindy]

I honestly can't tell you how to make friends since that is one thing I also lack in. Finding "true" friends comes over time, and you'll have many friends come into your life, backstab you, and walk out of your life all the time.



You need to get out and do something. Maybe join a club. I myself have no "real life" friends. All of my friends are on the internet. I'm hoping my love of dogs will give me something in common with people to actually become friends with someone. It's rough though when your a shy, outcast. Personally with me being 24, I have found that people I get along with are normally younger then I am. wow.. I can't beleive I'm actually 24... geeze times flies.



I've attempted to become friends with people from work, only to have it backfire when one person didn't like me, so I was casted aside, and yes it hurts badily.



I guess I don't know what to honestly tell you besides, you are not alone. It gets lonely, and I tell you what, computer monitors do not give you a good tan lol. Friends aren't something you can make in only a few weeks time. It takes a long time and you have to put yourself out there to make friends. It's funny how fate can happen. Get out of your house and join a club. Sitting behind your computer isn't going to get you too far with local friends. It's rare to meet someone in the same city as you are in online. I still to this day haven't ran across someone that lives in the same city as I do. I've had one close, about 30mins away but she is very different from me and a friendship wouldn't work well.



Anyways, to make friends you need to get out there. To find a girlfriend, you have to get out there. That's where I have started.

[XenophobicToaster]

[quote name='Cindy' date='16 September 2009 - 10:38 PM' timestamp='1253155082' post='458534']

I honestly can't tell you how to make friends since that is one thing I also lack in. Finding "true" friends comes over time, and you'll have many friends come into your life, backstab you, and walk out of your life all the time.



You need to get out and do something. Maybe join a club. I myself have no "real life" friends. All of my friends are on the internet. I'm hoping my love of dogs will give me something in common with people to actually become friends with someone. It's rough though when your a shy, outcast. Personally with me being 24, I have found that people I get along with are normally younger then I am. wow.. I can't beleive I'm actually 24... geeze times flies.



I've attempted to become friends with people from work, only to have it backfire when one person didn't like me, so I was casted aside, and yes it hurts badily.



I guess I don't know what to honestly tell you besides, you are not alone. It gets lonely, and I tell you what, computer monitors do not give you a good tan lol. Friends aren't something you can make in only a few weeks time. It takes a long time and you have to put yourself out there to make friends. It's funny how fate can happen. Get out of your house and join a club. Sitting behind your computer isn't going to get you too far with local friends. It's rare to meet someone in the same city as you are in online. I still to this day haven't ran across someone that lives in the same city as I do. I've had one close, about 30mins away but she is very different from me and a friendship wouldn't work well.



Anyways, to make friends you need to get out there. To find a girlfriend, you have to get out there. That's where I have started.

[/quote]



Thank you both for your responces <img src='http://www.helpingteens.org/groups/publ ... /smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' /> . Yeah I suppose all I can really do is put myself out there. I might try looking for jobs again, seeing as a lot of people in the year above will have moved out to university - potentially leaving some vacancies. I can't help but wonder how coincidental the timing of this was, but out of nowhere, a random girl has added me on Facebook and she lives in my town only a few roads away. Ive been talking to her and she seems very friendly and apparently goes to my college, so I'm going to see if I can meet with her sometime next week hopefully <img src='http://www.helpingteens.org/groups/publ ... /smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' /> .



Also, if I might make a suggestion Cindy, despite the fact that I don't really get on well with people, I have found that social networking sites have found me a fair few people in my town that I could have never met otherwise. I've been using a Facebook "meeting" application for the past half a year or so and have met 3 people off of it from my town. Although I didn't get on well with any of them, it still gave me the chance to befriend some local people which would have not been possible otherwise. Not forggetting also that I'm 17 and quite mature for my age. As you're 24, you would probably find that the people on it would be a little more mature to get along with than I find with people my own age.



Thank you both for your responces again anyway. The new college term has started, so I shall see what it brings <img src='http://www.helpingteens.org/groups/publ ... /smile.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' /> .