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Help Me To Help You!

by | Jan 12, 2006 | Family/Friends

Help Me To Help You!

  1. I am only HUMAN. As much as I want to help you with, listen to, and understand your problems, I am just human, and have my failings just like you.
  2. I cannot offer a miracle cure, I cannot fix your problems, I can only support you through them.
  3. The things I say will often be the “wrong” response, and I will probably react in the “wrong” way, but please trust me that I am trying my best.
  4. I love you and I would NEVER intentionally hurt you. If I am insensitive or say the “wrong” thing, it’s just because I don’t know how else to show I care.
  5. I cannot always be there for you. In the long run, you must stand alone, you cannot depend on me. I can support you, but I cannot hold you up. However hard I try, I am not strong enough to carry you as well as carrying myself.
  6. I cannot, and will not bear your guilt. If you are angry at yourself, please don’t turn it back at me because for me, that is the worst thing I can imagine.
  7. Although you want me to treat you as “normal” and although I know I should, sometimes my care for you overrides my sense of right and wrong. It might be wrong to wrap you in cotton wool, but I care about you too much to do otherwise.
  8. Likewise, if an argument might end in you blaming me for SI, I may avoid arguments because I cannot cope with that guilt. Yes, it’s wrong to treat you differently in that way, but it’s the only way I can cope with helping you.
  9. I do not begrudge you my help and support, I care about you, but please respect that as much as I love you, your problems do take a toll on me, just as they do on you.
  10. If I break your confidence it’s because I love you and am trying to do my best for you. To betray your secret and protect you from yourself will always be more important to me. There is no point for me to loyally keep my word if it means you end up dead.
  11. I don’t presume to know best, or know more than you about how you feel, but I will still have my opinion on what’s going on in your life, and I am willing to stick by it.
  12. Just remember… we are all only human.

If you are going to help me:

  1. Please be patient while I decide if I can trust you.
  2. Let me tell you my story. The whole story. In my own way.
  3. Please accept that whatever I may have done, whatever I may do is the best I have to offer and seemed right at the time.
  4. I am not “a” person. I am *this* person, unique and special.
  5. Don’t judge me as right or wrong, bad or good. I am what I am and that is all I have got
  6. Don’t assume that your knowledge about me is more accurate than mine. You only know what I have told you. That’s only part of me.
  7. Don’t ever think that you know what I should do — you don’t. I may be confused, but I am still the expert about me.
  8. Don’t place me in a position of living up to your expectations. I have enough trouble with mine.
  9. Please hear my feelings, not just my words — accept all of them. If you can’t, how can I?
  10. Don’t save me. I can do it myself. I knew enough to ask for your help, didn’t I? Help me to better myself.

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