Have you imagined it? Everyone dreams about it; candles, roses, four-poster beds. Losing your virginity is a special event in everyone’s life; it’s something that will stay with you forever. Your “first time” will always be remembered, so why not try to make it as special as possible? No, it probably won’t be like you dreamt it to be, but if you make sure you are ready, are doing it for the right reasons with the right person, then there is no reason why it can’t be memorable.
The decision of when to lose your virginity to is a hard one to make, and more importantly, who do you lose it with? If you are “ready” to lose your virginity to someone, then that person should be someone close to you. Emotional trust is necessary; if you are close enough to have sex then you should be able to talk about the issue without getting embarrassed. So talk about it. Talk about what you imagine your first time to be like, talk about the first time you ever thought about it, talk about when you think you will be ready, talk about if you are ready. Talk about contraception, and talk about everything. Once you are comfortable talking about the issue and have talked with each other, then you are one step closer to being ready.
Are you ready? If you have to ask that question to yourself whether you are ready to have sex or not, then my answer would almost always be that you’re not ready. If you are not sure yourself then you are not ready. If you have to ask what other people feel on a matter, then you are not ready. When it comes down to it, it is your decision and yours only. If you cannot make that decision and be 100% confident with that decision, then you’re not ready.
Feeling pressured? If you feel like you “have” to have sex, then you’re not ready, and the other person probably isn’t the right one to be losing it to either. Being pressured into sex is wrong; your body is your body and no one else’s. It is up to you and only you on what you do with it. Anybody who tells you they love you just to get you to have sex with them is not the sort of person that you want to be with. If they truly loved you, they would wait until you are fully ready.
Someday, you will be with someone and it will be the right time. When it’s the right time, you will just know. You’ll feel comfortable with them, feel comfortable sharing your body with them. You have plenty of time to have sex in your life; there isn’t a particular reason to start having it until you are fully ready.
Remember, no one can make you have sex unless you want to. Don’t be afraid to say no. This is YOUR decision, and yours only.