I Hate This..

[Kit]

I've been crying for hours...I can barely see even though I have my glasses on. I can hardly breathe and I feel like I can't cry any harder... My throught hurts!! I don't know what is wrong with me! I even pushed my brother away from me! I just want this to go away...I don't understand...Why can't I do this??? Why is this sooo hard for me??



I don't want to feel alone and miserable anymore. I want to live the way I used to. I want to SCREAM but I CAN'T! Something soooo SIMPLE and I CAN'T!! I've been trying. I've been trying sooo hard but everyone doubts me then I doubt myself. I don't understand how my own brother can pick me up off the floor to hold me to make me calm down yet I don't even feel the warmth of him near me anymore! I used to run to him and cry and feel so much safer and better when he held me... !!! Now I don't want him - I feel ALONE...I can't even feel anything anymore - I feel DEAD. I can't express my feelings... Why? Why can't I be strong enough to do anything like I used to?????? *is trying very hard not to fall to the floor kicking and...crying since I can't scream* WHAT IS SO FREAKIN WRONG WITH ME???? *crying* *feels stupid for being such a baby*

[XTorn2PiecesLPX]

Sammi, love, your VERY strong.....Your stronger then I am. I couldnt of made it as far as you have. things are going to be rough for a while, but they WILL get better. Your not alone....Your brother is helping you, so many people love you. We all love you. theres nothing wrong with you, its just a hard time that you can and will get through. things will get better....Im here if you need to talk ok hun? I hope i helped



-Molly

[Beautiful]

Hun, your just having one of those times.. Maybe its best if you just LET IT ALL OUT.. Kick, cry, scream... Sometimes, that DOES help <33



Or maybe you need to talk to someone, other then family? Your a very strong girl && i know you'll feel better

[turtbub]

Sammi you have EVERY RIGHT to be so low. You're going through an insanely hard time right now and you're bound to get overwhelmed and angry. People will understand that, love.



And I'm with Jami. Just freak out when you need to. Sometimes it's the only way to let things out.



<3 Love you.



Hannah

[Kit]

I can't scream...Sound doesn't come out of my mouth yet. I have to wait til I get the other stuff out of my mouth. I couldn't sleep last night - I stayed up the entire night crying. I finally stoped around 11 this morning. Now it's 4:40 an dI still don't feel any better. I can't cry anymore. I just feel...numb/dead/lifeless. I don't understand why my depression is so bad. I don't understand why I feel like such a drone.



Ronnie left last night. He got a bus ticket and left to Northern Az(I'm in the southern) to live with mu Uncle. Now it's just my dad and me. There isn't anyone here anymore. I can't talk to Ronnie to tell him how sorry I am for pushing him away(I've never done that before and it completely shocked him). I just had a major break down and couldn't control it anymore. I haven't eaten anything and I'm a little shaky. *sigh* I can't belive this is happening...



Thanks you guys for replying. *hugs*



Sammi..

[turtbub]