You know what? I am not superwoman.....i'm just not

[Barbies are Evil]

like really, yesterday was hell.......I had to talk my mother out of suicide numerous times, our power got shut off than turned back on again when my dad borrowed money from my grandmother, which got my mom even more pissed off, they are probably gonna get divorced, i was walking around town with my mom because I thought if i wasn't with her, she would do something to herself........and I got bad sunburn doing that also....I am not superwoman, i am only human, hell, i am only 19.......I should be living my life, making mistakes.......and I can't fall apart, cause if I fall apart, everything here will go to hell and i have to be strong and really, I am not superwoman.............I am not suicidal.......i'm just feeling the pressure, and I am not superwoman.

[Barbies are Evil]

i'm not bumping, i'm adding to........and, today, my mom and dad got into a huge fight, my dad is gonna move out, if mom gets the money she's gonna move to florida.........and they are most definitely getting a divorce........oh, but who knows, this might all blow over in a few days, thats the McCune way........like really, i'm so effing sick of this.

[Kit]

Wow - dear I am so sorry I didn't answer the phone... We were going through our own hell the past two days. Just think, a couple more months and you'll be far away from all of that. *hugs* Things will smoothe over. Just give it time.

[Barbies are Evil]

and things seem to have blown over tonight.......I swear, its a miracle I don't walk around with a twitch and that I can get up out of bed everyday.

[anonymous08]

i'm glad things have calmed down for you.

[CanadaCraig]

Dear Barbies are Evil!!



My heart goes out to you. That's a horrible way to live. A child is not supposed to feel responsible for the emotional well being of his or her parents. Certainly not to the degree that you feel responsible. It's supposed to be the other way around. Mom's and dad's are SUPPOSED to worry about their kids. But your mom is going all-out when it comes to keeping you under her control. The threat of suicide is the cruelest of manipulators. To make someone feel responsible for your happiness is bad enough. To make someone feel responsible for whether or not you stay alive - is a horrible thing to do. Your mom is using the love you have for her - against you. And that's a rotten thing to do. You have a right to live your life free of that. [Or at least free of most of it] It's important to note that not every 'reason' is an 'excuse'. In other words - although there may be 'reasons' why your mom is obviously so emotionally unbalanced - that is not a 'excuse' to use you. You are a separate, individual human being who has a perfect right to get on with your own life. And to make - and indeed learn from - your own mistakes. [As you said] I know all to well what it's like to feel responsible for the well being of a parent. Both of my parents did that to me. Neither one of them stooped to the threat of suicide - but they sure did go out of their way [So it seemed] to make ME feel as though I was responsible for THEM. And to this day - I still feel guilty - for I feel as though I failed to live up to that responsibility. But in reality - that 'responsibility' was not mine. And they had no right to involve me in their problems. I had [And still have] enough of my own. The only advice I can give you is to do whatever it takes to move on with your own life. Start packing and start making plans. If you're anything like me - no doubt even the thought of NOT 'being there' - 'on call' - '24 hours a day' - will make you feel guilty. But try your best to accept that the guilty feeling is what has been used in order to control you and keep you involved. You have a right NOT to be so involved. You have a right to be happy - imagine that. You have a right to have a good life. You are a good person. I hope and pray that you will learn the lesson that has taken me decades to learn and that is that we must allow others - even our own parents - the opportunity to learn from THEIR own mistakes. And we must accept that to allow others that opportunity is not an act of cruelty or selfishness on our part - but one of having respect. We must respect that the only time a person becomes stronger and more self-reliant is when they are allowed to pick themselves up off the floor. "But my mom is threatening to kill herself - should I just allow that to happen?!" NO. But there are professionals who deal with those types of problems. You need to tell your mom that her suicidal thoughts and threats are beyond your ability to help. Then hand her a piece of paper with a few phone numbers on it. Let her know that if she really is suicidal - she should phone one of those numbers. There is probably a 'suicide prevention' hotline phone number in your phone book. Put that number on that piece of paper. If you can't find that phone number - there will be - I'm sure - something in the phone book that you could phone to ask for help regarding an appropriate phone number for your mom to call - if need be. [Counseling centers or something like that] You absolutely MUST give back to your mother HER problems. That is the only way she will ever be able to fix what's broke. [Or at least try to] And it is the only way that YOU will be able to get on with YOUR LIFE.



Take care of yourself.



GREAT BIG HUG

Craig!!

[Barbies are Evil]

that made me cry Craig, and its true, and I am getting out, I just have to wait a couple of months.....you got right to the heart of the matter........you always manage to get right to the heart of the matter.....I am not responsible for them, i've allowed myself to get sucked into that.....