Without a doubt, the most painful part of any relationships is having it end. Many, if not all, of us have had relationships that have ended even though we truly believed that it would work out, that we each loved each other. Being the overly thoughtful and inquisitive person I naturally am, I couldn’t help but wonder about what manages to get us through that dark time that can plunge some of us into deep and severe depression. The only answer I’ve managed to come up with is as complex as relationships themselves.
When we begin a new girlfriend/boyfriend relationship there is an excitement, feelings of anticipation, a new beginning fills our minds, and that person we are involved with comes to mean so much to us. If it is a healthy relationship, then our self-esteem is lifted and we’re made to feel beautiful, handsome, smart, and funny. We believe that they care about love and need us as much as we do them. For some, the difference that a good relationship can bring about are dramatic.
Because of the wonderful emotions that a new relationship brings and considering how attached we can become to that other person, when the relationship is called off, it can make us feel as though all the good things that the person made us feel were all lies. Lies or untruths, told because they thought it was what we wanted to hear. It is that confusing and difficult possibility that causes so much of the pain we feel. In addition, for some unknown and odd reason, too many times when a relationship is broken, we tend to go our separate ways, instead of actually keeping in contact to remain friends. The fear of rarely being able to see each other, makes the break up even more difficult.
I truly believe that all of us find the “one” that we’re supposed to be with, the one that makes our lives complete and truly happy. The painful part is that most of the time, the first, second, or even third person we date is not the right one. The problem arises because when we first meet someone we don’t know whether he or she is the “one” or not. They make us feel loved, cared for and special and we become attached, hoping that we’ve found the special “one.”
So, because we’re human, when we or the other person realizes that we’re not made for each other and ends the relationship, our hearts are broken. Being hurt, unfortunately, is part of living is part of being human but I try to keep the attitude that says, “if we really weren’t meant to be together, then I’m glad we’re not. Now I have more time to focus on finding my *real* soul mate.”
Losing a close friend is, without a doubt, very difficult but personally I believe that enduring a few broken hearts is worth it when, in the end, true happiness is the reward.