1. /
  2. Articles
  3. /
  4. Sex, Sexuality & Pregnancy
  5. /
  6. Masturbation – Sex For...

Masturbation – Sex For One.

by | Sep 25, 2003 | Sex, Sexuality & Pregnancy

The dictionary definition of masturbation is:

mas·tur·ba·tion (mstr-bshn)   n. Excitation of one’s own or another’s genital organs, usually to orgasm, by manual contact or means other than sexual intercourse.

Many teens are ill-informed about this natural sexual activity (masturbation) and are left scared and confused about it. We here at HelpingTeens try our best to educate teens about the subject and provide the education they didn’t get at school or from their parents. But for each person asking for information about masturbation, there’s at least one hundred more teens out there scared to ask questions about this subject and likely feeling guilty about doing something very normal and natural.

Sadly, it wasn’t until 1981 that medical science actually deemed self-pleasure as a natural form of sexuality. This is probably why parents have such a hard time talking about it. In Victorian times people were sexually oppressed to the point where they actually built devices and resulted to genital mutilation to keep their children from pleasuring themselves. At one time, masturbation was even mistakenly thought of as a mental illness and a disease called onanism. At any rate we’ve come to accept that these views were wrong and that masturbation is actually a safe activity, natural and normal.

These days parents know all to well that with adolescence comes acne, raging hormones and the desire to to relieve sexual tensions. I would assume that parents are much happier if their child pleasured himself or herself rather then their child have sex. Parents know that toddlers, babies and adolescents all engage in this healthy activity. Boys and girls usually start around the time of potty training as they have access to their genitals for the first time.

From a male’s perspective

Both males and females masturbate; it’s NORMAL and NATURAL. Males usually start from baby hood when Mom or Dad changes a diaper and a erection sprouts up. Provided his riffle isn’t loaded and he doesn’t want to pee on you he probably will touch down there as Mom or Dad changes him. Masturbation in males involves the stroking or rubbing of the shaft or head of the penis by using fingers or rubbing against objects; ending in orgasm.

Orgasms basically are the tension and relaxation of muscles in the pubic area. The area tightens up for a few seconds (doesn’t hurt feels pleasurable) and then ejaculate (semen) is released. Generally this is a pretty messy process indeed and you should have Kleenex handy.

The first time a guy ejaculates is normally a few drops and it can be scary if he doesn’t know it’s coming. Trust me it’s natural and you haven’t hurt yourself or caught a disease. Over time the amount of ejaculate is much more thicker and more comes out. Also be aware that semen is acidic and you should have a wash cloth handy. If it dries on your penis it can cause red sores or scabs that will really hurt. Try explaining that one to a doctor.

Semen, when ejaculated from the penis, MUST be allowed to come out of the body. Some try to hold it in by squeezing the tip of their penis so their hole is closed. This is VERY DANGEROUS, HURTS and MUST be avoided.

It’s normal to engage in this activity and normal if you don’t. Some boys play doctor with young girls at a young age and that’s normal. Boys and girls depending on how comfortable they are with each other may engage in the activity together and that’s fine too. It doesn’t mean they are gay if they engage in this play with members of the same sex. It’s a natural part of human development. Many adolescents who are in stable relationships with opposite sex engage in it together too as they aren’t ready for intercourse. Bottom line it’s normal.

For more information about male masturbation, please visit http://www.jackinworld.com/

From a female’s perspective

Female masturbation is completely normal. You may find that you feel an “urge” to touch yourself from around the beginning of puberty. This can be quite scary if you do not know this activity is engaged in by around 75% of females all the time!

You can be any age to masturbate. When you are a child, you do a fair bit of “exploring” without even knowing it, with yourself and possibly with others. Of course you won’t have known what you were doing and not understood when your parents quietly moved your hands away. During puberty you will start to explore the new bits which are sprouting out of you. This is what masturbation is all about, self-exploration! Find out what makes you feel good inside 🙂

Female masturbation involves the erogenous zones. These are the genitals, breasts and sometimes bottom (depending on how far you can reach). If you are wondering : “but now do I masturbate?” then I shall start you off. If you have a look in a mirror (in private, bathroom with a lock on is a good place) between your legs, you will see two “flabby” bits just above the hole that is your vagina. Pull apart these flaps and you will see a big fleshy bit of skin. This is called the “clitoris”, if you touch this, you will get rather a pleasant sensation. Make sure your fingers are moist before you touch it, otherwise it may hurt as it is one of the most sensitive areas on a woman’s body.

The clitoris is the main “love spot” on a woman. This, when stimulated enough, can cause you to have an orgasm. An orgasm is the “climax”. It usually occurs about 5-10 minutes after you begin. You will find yourself going a bit dizzy and your muscles and limbs will become more jerky. You will feel the desire to just CARRY ON! with what you are doing and then you feel an “explosive” sensation throughout your body. Afterwards you will feel VERY satisfied and very tired! Men usually go to sleep after they have had an orgasm, but women often feel more active and ready to get on with more things! You’ll adapt to your own needs as time goes on 🙂 Men will often have no idea where to find the clitoris and if you have ever tried engaging in activities like fingering or sex, they will probably have had a good poke about before finding anything resembling your sexual parts. Now that you know where to find your clitoris, you can guide them. The only downside to the clitoris is that with too much stimulation, it can go numb or very sensitive. Make sure you are gentle with yourself, respond to what you are feeling and give it full throttle! There might be a “musky” smell in the air after you orgasm; a room freshener will soon sort that one out though!

Something which you may have heard talked about is a vibrator. A vibrator is a “penis shaped” instrument which can be inserted into the vagina or held against the clitoris (or anything else, depends how imaginative you are I guess) and basically, it vibrates! You can buy them fairly cheaply either online or from a sex shop. Make sure you wash it after use and keep it well-hidden! 🙂

For more information about the Clitoris and female masturbation, please visit http://www.clitical.com/ and http://www.the-clitoris.com/.

Mutual Masturbation

You may feel that you want to explore your partners body during a relationship. Some of you may have heard of things like “hand jobs” or “blow jobs” or “fingering”. This is called “mutual masturbation” and is also completely normal! Mutual masturbation is basically doing the opposite sex’s masturbating for them.

For females masturbating males

With guys, they masturbate using their hands and well, their penis. Take hold of that penis, and start improvising. He won’t know what to do with himself 🙂 Communication is VITAL during this activity and it really can’t be done unless he tells you “faster! slower! Oooooooh..” 😉

For males masturbating females

Be VERY careful when doing this to girls. Their genitals aren’t as hardwearing as yours and so a light hand is required if you are to be “successful”. Ask her what she wants and I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to guide you. Make sure your finger(s) are VERY wet before you even think of touching her clitoris. If you touch the clitoris when your fingers are dry, she will let out a screech of pain, and you don’t want that.

Final Thoughts

Everyone around you will not be able to tell you masturbate. There may be an embarrassing incident if you get too adventurous with a carrot or banana, but other than that, they won’t know a thing. Girls are lucky because they don’t need to worry about keeping the sheets clean afterwards but for guys, that’s why there is Kleenex, soft smooth and adsorbent.

Couples engage in mutual masturbation as an alternative or prelude to sex. Mutual masturbation is guaranteed to keep you pregnancy free, so long as you are careful. It is possible to catch sexually transmitted diseases if you aren’t careful, so guys should have a condom on.

Related Post

When Should I Have Sex?

The 'simple answer' is that you should have sex when you feel comfortable and ready to do so. But of course, life is rarely ever made sense of with the simple answers! Feelings are not always easy to understand and it can be hard to make sense of how you feel! Whether...

What is the Average Penis Size? Does Size Matter?

The age-old question, "Am I well hung?" Well, before going on to see where you stand, or should we say hang, remember that size isn’t everything. Most women prefer a man with a less then average penis and great at cunnilingus, to a man with a larger penis and no...

Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)

Article in METRO newspaper, June 14 2001. (Found by Helen Watters in 2001) One in five teenagers has an undiagnosed sexually transmitted disease, say doctors in the US. The figure was uncovered by doctors who sent home test kits for various infections to a random...

Seven Things I Wish Pro-Gay People Would Admit.

By: Bob Davies Taken from: http://www.narth.com/ I wish they would admit that many people are not happy with their homosexuality or lesbianism, and that this conflict is internal, based on legitimate, intelligent religious and moral convictions - not just the result...

Do Not Be Afraid To Be Yourself.

I just wanted to say to those that are out and to those whom are closeted: do not be afraid to be yourself. For a little over 16 years i was who people wanted me to be and i hated it. Day after day of depression because life wasn't good enough and people still thought...

Homosexuality – A Positive Note.

Today we had a field trip to the local University to learn about HIV/AIDS and there was a fiftyish year old guy there that was HIV positive and he was talking about his growing up in school and he said that he envied our generation because we are much more open than...

In the Grip of Gay Panic. What is This World Coming To?

Taken from: http://www.advocate.com/html/stories/932/932_simpson.asp In the grip of gay panic: "What do the murderers of gay men have in common with the White House? An aggressive strategy to justify their own selfish actions by devaluing the lives of gay men and...

Coming Out Is A Journey. A Small Q & A.

So I always see these topics in the forums where people are looking for the quick fix answers to "coming out." There are none! Coming out is a journey through which all must self navigate, as it is a challenge of fears and based on our own individual experiences. Q:...

What are Obstetric Ultrasound Scans?

Taken from: http://www.ob-ultrasound.net/ Obstetric Ultrasound is the use of ultrasound scans in pregnancy. Since its introduction in the late 1950's ultrasonography has become a very useful diagnostic tool in Obstetrics. Currently used equipments are known as...