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The Phycological Stages in Your Journey to Coming to Terms With Your Sexuality.

by | Nov 16, 2007 | Sex, Sexuality & Pregnancy

There are psychological stages in your journey to coming to terms with your sexuality. These stages could take you years to surpass or days depending on who you are. If you have been in a stage for a while, do not be sad or feel wimpy or anything because some stages even took me time to pass.

STAGE ONE: Denial

This is the stage were you do not believe you are gay/bisexual/lesbian. The main statement affiliated is “not me.” This stage is truly the hardest to pass because you do not want to believe you are gay/bisexual/lesbian because of what your family or friends might think of you. But you have to remember that you are loved and your sexuality is only one aspect of who you are and you are a great person that people will love even if you do like the same gender!

STAGE TWO: Anger

This is the stage when you are pissed that you are gay/bisexual/lesbian…The main statement affiliated is “why me?” This is when you are pissed about who you are. This stage can take a while to pass for some but others go right to bargaining.

STAGE THREE: Bargaining

This is the stage that most people go through and this is another stage that lasts for a while. The main statement affiliated is “If only…” This stage is when you try to go out with someone of the opposite sex believing: “If only I had someone of the opposite sex then I will be straight” or “If I keep my body in the straight sexuality then my mind is sure to follow.” After we realize that we are born this way (you are!) then we go into the 4th stage.

STAGE FOUR: Depression

This stage is the stage when you just say: “leave me alone.” You’re scared of what others will think of you and you don’t want to be around the same sex in fear you will be attracted to them because you want to still be straight. Again to get over this you need to realize that you are never alone. There are gay people out there for you to be with. The population is lower but there are people that will love you. You shouldn’t hate who you are and you shouldn’t want to be alone.

STAGE FIVE: Acceptance

Finally you have accepted who you are! This stage is when you can look in the mirror and say “I am gay/bisexual/lesbian” and smile back. You may not be out but at least you have accepted the fact that you are a homosexual/bisexual

And remember: Even if you have moved on to another stage and go backward (for instance if you have moved to bargaining but then go back to anger or denial) it is totally normal!

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