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I Get No Respect!

by | Jan 18, 2005 | Self Harm

Hi Everyone!!


Is that what YOUR life is like? Do people seem to treat you as if you don’t matter? Are they rude to YOU? If you want to know HOW to get respect, then keep reading!!

At the risk of sounding like I’m praising myself – more often than not – people treat me with respect. Why is that? Is it because they think I’m smart? I don’t think so. Is it because I’m tall? No. Then what is it?

People (strangers) do NOT know ANYTHING about YOU. So if they are NOT treating YOU respectfully (more often than not) it has to be because of how YOU are acting. Am I suggesting that it’s YOUR fault? YES!! That’s exactly what I’m suggesting. So what can you do about it? The answer to the ‘how to get respect’ question is a one word answer. And THAT word is…


It’s an old fashioned word – that means ‘being polite’. Sadly, manners do not seem to matter as much these days as they once did. People don’t feel compelled to say “thank you,” “excuse me,” “how are you?” “it was nice talking to you,” and so on. Why is that? Does it not matter as much anymore? Is being polite and having manners a waste of time? NO. Not if “being respected” is something that matters to you, and NOT if you care about people and HOPE that THEY will care about YOU.

Even on this site, many of you are NOT polite. You post a message in the Support Groups asking for help. Sometimes, many people go out of their way to help you and yet YOU never even bother to say, “thank you”. That is just plain old RUDE. When you meet someone in person, you probably say, “hi” don’t you?. So why don’t you say “hi” when you are talking to someone on the Internet? Addressing someone (such as saying “hello bob” or whoever) is a sign of respect. Respect isn’t something other people OWE you, it is something you EARN. The easiest way to EARN respect is to TREAT OTHERS with respect and the most obvious way to SHOW someone respect, is to be polite to them.

Many doors have been opened to me for ONE REASON ONLY. I am POLITE. I treat people as I want to be treated and people respect me for that. When a person respects you, they want to be NEAR you, and if they want be near you, they will go out of their way to help you (i.e. help you get a job, help you get a loan, help you with a problem, etc). It just makes sense doesn’t it? If you met two strangers, and ONE of them was polite to you and the other one was NOT polite, who would YOU have more respect for?

So please, for YOUR SAKE, learn to be polite, and if you’re not sure what it means to be polite, ASK someone.

How important are manners? A very powerful business man in the U.S. was interviewed. He ran a huge company and was in charge of hiring and firing. He said that when someone comes to him looking for a job, they often try to impress upon him just how skilled they are (which is fine), but what HE is looking for in a new employee are manners. Are they nice? Are they someone you would like to work with? Etc. Skills, he said, can be taught but politeness was a far more important quality.

Being polite, or having manners, also makes you APPEAR smarter. When you are talking to someone, are you listening to them? How do they know? If you’re staring at the ground and shuffling your feet, the impression THEY will get is that YOU don’t really care about what they are saying. So look someone in the eyes and confirm that you ARE listening by nodding your head every now and then. And when it’s time for you to say something, respond directly to what THEY said.

What about when you walk through a door like in a shopping mall. Do you just open the door enough so YOU can get through? OR do care about the person behind you and hold the door open so THEY can also walk through or at least grab the door from you? And if someone holds the door open for you, do YOU say, “thanks”?

Using swear words isn’t polite either and the quickest way to show someone that you are not all that bright is to swear. Now whether or not you ARE smart doesn’t matter but what I’m talking about has to do with the impression you give others. You could be a genius, but if every second word is the F-word (or any other swear word for that matter), you are NOT going to SOUND like a genius. In fact, you’re going to SOUND like a moron (sorry, but it’s true). I often hear young people talking in a mall and it’s really disappointing to hear how often they swear. It makes them SOUND “cheap,” “stupid” and it makes me want to walk up to them and tell them to stop it because the only reputation they are tarnishing, is their own.

If you are not being treated very respectfully, ask yourself this question. “How am I coming across to other people? Do I act as if I am someone WORTHY of respect?” If not, then do something about it. I think most of you (who tend not to have manners) will be SHOCKED with how much more respectfully YOU are treated IF you treat others with respect.

I’m saying all of this, because it frustrates me when perfectly respectable people (like most of you) are not being treated with respect. You should be, and you WILL be, IF you are willing to become a person who has manners.



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